She Came Back Wrong
by Semby
Summary: 5 years after Buffy died in the battle with Glory, she's back. And she's bad. Some 'evil BA', eventually real BA.
1. Default Chapter

Title: She came back wrong

Author: Semby

Summary: 5 years after Buffy died in the battle with Glory, she may be back… in a way no one expected.

Pairings: Some evil!Buffy/Angelus, eventually real B/A. There are other character pairings, but they're not the focus.

Rating: PG-13, for language, some sexual references, and violence.

A/N: This is an alternate reality which followed canon up until the end of Buffy S5 and Angel S2; later seasons didn't happen, but you may see me taking inspiration from them anyway. No season 3 of Angel means no Connor, and Darla isn't dead. Other differences in this universe will be explained in future parts. (Also, I don't know much about the geography of New York, so I'll be fudging some of that.)

Thanks to: My beta-readers, Ann and Leni. Both a great help, and all remaining errors are mine.

Feedback: Yes, please.

Distribution: Just let me know.

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon is the ruler of all things Buffy, and I'm not him.

Part 1

Angel turned over uncomfortably in the unfamiliar hotel bed. Only three short days ago, a tribe of Glotgens, peaceful demons, came to Angel Investigations asking for help in finding an ancient relic of their society which had been stolen. For them it was used innocently enough, nowadays primarily as a decoration and a reminder of their history, but in the wrong hands, it had the power to do unspeakable damage.

It had taken only a few hours of tracking to figure out who had stolen the relic, and a day more to realize that he had already left the state. It took only a few punches from Angel, much to Spike's disappointment, to convince a snitch who knew about the theft to confess that the culprit was intending to sell it for a hefty sum to a sorcerer who currently resided in New York. With little further prodding, he added that he didn't know how to find the sorcerer, nor did the thief, but that the relic would pass through the hands of a demon bartender in one particular corner of the city before being taken to its final buyer.

At the Glotgens' insistence of the dangers the relic could cause, and the promise of a payment that absolutely delighted Cordelia and made Anya wish she were actively involved in the business, arrangements were made for a trip to New York.

Angel, Faith, Gunn, Wesley and Fred had all gone, the rest staying back to take care of any clients in LA. Even having more than one or two people was only necessary in case something went wrong; they expected it to be an easy job. They'd arrived late in the night, and there wasn't time to get anything really done before daybreak. So Angel was currently attempting to sleep the daylight hours away, while the others retrieved any information they could about demon bars in the area they were alerted to. Angel had woken several hours before sunset and still found himself unable to sleep, but there was nothing he could do to occupy himself until he was due to meet the others for dinner to discuss what they had found. He figured his restlessness was due to his discomfort at being in New York again. He hadn't been back since his rat-eating days, and those were the only memories the city held for him.

After two more hours of not finding sleep, he accepted it was time to give up and get up. He took a long hot shower, dressed, and headed downstairs to meet the others in the lobby.

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"So, there are five demon bars in that area," Wesley informed Angel as they were wrapping up their meal.

"Only one of 'em opens before dark, so we questioned and threatened the guys working there, but I think we concluded that there was no one there involved in the relic transaction, so that just leaves the other four for tonight," Fred continued.

"You know for sure that there was no one there involved? How thorough were you?" Angel asked. He trusted his team, but he just felt more reassured when he was able to do the questioning himself. And when questioning was involved, he knew most demons were not to be trusted to answer honestly.

"Trust us, no one there was smart enough or brave enough to keep anything hidden from us," Faith answered with a grin. "It was an easy hit."

"All right, then, should we check out the other four? I guess us three," Angel said, motioning to himself, Gunn and Faith, "could take one each and you two take the last one."

"Okey dokey," Fred agreed. "You can take 'Thor's Lair', here's the address." She handed him a piece of paper, and assigned the remaining bars to the others. After wrapping up the check, they headed out and split up.

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Not much later, Angel was finishing up with a clearly clueless bartender at Thor's Lair, and was ready to head back and see if the others had been more successful. He turned to exit and stopped when he saw an all-too-familiar face sitting at one of the booths. The face smiled gleefully when his eyes met hers, and she motioned for him to join her, indicating the two drinks at her table. He sighed, but didn't see the harm in having one drink with her, one short conversation.

He sat at the booth. "Drusilla," he greeted with a nod.

She giggled playfully, "My Angel, it's been too long since we've laid eyes on one another."

"Yeah, I guess it has been awhile since the last time you and Darla both happened to be in LA trying to cause trouble and I threatened to kill you if you ever came back," Angel replied dryly. "Did you come here specifically to find me? What are you doing here?"

"I heard a whisper you were near – psst, psst, psst," she mimicked the noise, hands dancing in the air. She smiled, "It made me realize I had to come and say hello. I've missed you. Have you missed me as well? Daddy?"

"I don't really know how to answer that. "

"Well, don't be a nasty boy, my Angel, I ordered this drink especially for your company. It's some lovely scotch. You were always a man who enjoyed a scotch. Keep me company? Please? Just for a li'l while. I get so lonely sometimes," her face creased up in a fretful frown.

"Fine," Angel conceded abruptly, so as to not agitate her. Even though they had been enemies time and again and still were, he always felt guilty knowing that her fragile mental state and thirst for pain and death was his fault. He did what little he could to appease her, and one drink wouldn't hurt.

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Ordinarily he wouldn't have been so affected by one drink. He'd had a high tolerance for alcohol when he was a human, and had to drink far more than any human could consume in a night just to get a buzz as a vampire.

Something was in that drink. Something not natural. Just when he was beginning to realize he'd been very, very stupid for trusting Dru was about the same time his head started getting cloudy. He was vaguely aware of spending far longer at the bar than he had planned. He was vaguely aware that Drusilla led him out of the bar after awhile. He was vaguely aware that they were met in the street by Darla, who gave him a grin, a kiss, and a greeting something along the lines of "Well, hello, my boy. We meet again. How are you feeling?" He was vaguely aware that he still had the strength and ability to fight, but didn't feel the need to; his old girls weren't giving him any trouble or threatening his life. He was vaguely aware that he was led into a building, into an apartment, into a bedroom. He felt Darla lower him onto a bed.

She surprised him by merely giving him one more short kiss and then heading for the door. "Have a lovely night," she whispered in a wicked tone before slipping out and closing the door behind her.

He looked up at the ceiling, confused. He wasn't exactly in his right mind, but he knew there was something odd about Darla and Drusilla drugging him only to leave him in a bed for the night, not even bound. He dazedly tried to look more around the room, when he finally noticed he wasn't alone in the bed. His mouth fairly watered at the young, naked, beautiful female body lying next to him. He slowly, languidly brought his gaze to above her neck. He found the sleeping face of a girl he had never expected to see again.


	2. Part 2

Part 2 (see disclaimers, summary, etc in part 1)

His eyes blinked awake the next day. He stretched out languidly, rubbed his face. Then, upon realizing he had no idea where he was, he sat up suddenly. He found himself making eye contact with Darla who sat in an armchair by the door.

"Good morning," she greeted calmly.

"Good morning," he replied.

"Are you feeling well?"

He paused. "I'm feeling… absolutely fucking fantastic," he grinned. "What the hell did you get Dru to put in that drink? There's a soul-vanquishing potion? Some dumb bitch once tricked soul boy into drinking something that made his soul take a vacation for a few hours, but it didn't last overnight. What was that stuff?"

Darla cocked her head to the side. "Do you remember any of last night?"

"Only up until I sat down to have a drink with Dru at the bar. Why?" Angelus responded, getting out of the bed, unabashedly nude in front of his sire.

She smiled, "It's a little potion whipped up just for me by a guy from a magic store uptown. It doesn't get rid of souls, though. It just makes a person – or a vampire – easily confused and easily manipulated; unaware of certain consequences and less likely to think out why they shouldn't be doing something they are doing… or how it's possible for them to do so in the first place."

He zipped up his pants from last night he'd found at the side of the bed. "So how'd the soul go then?" he asked distractedly while starting the search for his shirt.

"The potion might not have had the power to make you lose your soul on its own, but it had the power to make you more willing to take part in certain activities that would trigger perfect happiness."

"So, you're saying that this potion made soul boy confused and willing enough to go to bed with you, and confused enough to mistake you for his perfect happiness?" Angelus smirked.

Though there was a snideness in his words, she couldn't deny the truth in them. She'd seen the proof five and a half years ago; sex with her wasn't enough to make Angel lose his soul. "No," she let out through gritted teeth. "It wasn't me. Even when your do-gooder half is confused, he's not blind. He doesn't mistake what makes him happy. I wasn't going to risk my one opportunity with a means that hadn't worked in the past, especially when I had a more convincing option."

"What do you mean?"

Darla got up suddenly and walked over to sit on the bed. She took a long moment's pause before answering, "I came to New York a little over a month ago. It wasn't long before I happened across a rather interesting girl. Her presence was strange, and I couldn't come up with a rational explanation of how she came to be here, or what the hell kind of life she was trying to make for herself.

"After following her around for a few weeks and pretending to be friends with a friend of hers, I found out a little more about her. She mysteriously appeared, unconscious, in a street alley one day a little over three years ago. When she woke up she had no memory of her life before that moment, she had no ID, and no family or friends ever showed up to claim her so she had no link to her past. When I figured that was all I could find out about her situation, I killed her," Darla finished.

Angelus quirked an eyebrow, "And what does any of this have to do with me losing my soul?"

Darla smiled conspiratorially, and motioned for him to follow her. They exited the bedroom.

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Willow put down the phone in the Hyperion Lobby, a worried expression on her face.

"That was Fred," she explained to the others in the room. "She said that they all split up last night to investigate the different potential demon bars in question. Faith got the relic. The only problem is that Angel didn't meet up with them again afterwards. They checked his hotel room, they checked the bar he'd been sent to, found nothing. The bartender said he saw him sit down with a brunette for awhile, then he seemed really drunk and left."

Giles pushed the bridge of his glasses up his nose and frowned. "That's very unlike him. Do – do they think he might have been harmed?"

Three and a half years earlier, the Hellmouth had been threatened by an evil greater than the Scooby gang had ever seen. The AI team had come to help in the final battle and they had managed to destroy their enemy and close the Hellmouth forever with a little help from Willow and Tara's skills with magicks. The Sunnydale group had then relocated to LA with Willow, Tara, and Spike moving into the hotel and helping out actively at Angel Investigations, Giles helping out wherever he could while actively keeping Dawn ignorant of their cases, and Xander and Anya had decided to get their own place and focus on starting a family, not working in the demon business anymore but still in close contact with their friends. Angel was never fully back in Giles' good graces after his actions as Angelus all those years before, but since the move to LA, he'd gotten to know Angel and see his work in ways he never had in Sunnydale, not to mention his continuing gratitude for his team's help in the battle. He grew as concerned for his well-being as he would for any other member of their group.

"Oh, come on, like Angel can't handle a demon bar?" Cordelia interjected. "He was probably just given a false lead and followed it through and then wound up someplace without sewer access or a phone in the early morning hours."

Willow conceded, "I guess she's right. Angel can normally handle himself just fine, and there's nothing to hint that this was some great danger like he's never faced before. No need to worry just yet."

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Angelus followed Darla into the living room of the apartment they were in. There he saw Drusilla playing with the hair of another girl who was seated on the couch. Sitting on an armchair, a young man was supposedly reading a book, yet sneaking glances at a girl with long dark blonde hair standing at the kitchen counter flipping through a magazine.

Angelus glanced at Darla inquisitively, still waiting for an explanation. Darla opened her mouth to begin telling him more, but was cut off when the girl at the counter, suddenly turned and declared with a large pout, "I'm bored."

Drusilla took it upon herself to fix her boredom by running over to tell stories about Miss Edith.

Angelus couldn't keep his cool. His mouth fell open. He turned to Darla, "Buffy? You found Buffy? Alive. In New York. I don't believe it. How is that even possible? The tight-ass bitch died more than five years ago!"

"I know! Crazy, isn't it? It's not like she can give us an explanation either as long as she doesn't remember how she got there. I considered that she was some freaky doppelganger, and she could be, but Dru and her sight would suggest otherwise," Darla continued. "I can't believe she's been here for three years and no one ever knew. I just thank my lucky stars that you didn't show up in this town once in those three years, and now finally do, five days after I killed her. Isn't fate a funny thing?"

He chuckled, leaning against the wall, "That it is, my dear. You'd think with all the work the good guys do, the Powers That Be would make things a little easier for them every now and again. Sucks to be the ones fighting a losing battle. And who are the others?"

"They were her friends here when she was alive. They were also necessary sacrifices to get to her. Actually, she," Darla motioned to the girl, "was necessary, he was just someone our little slayer chose to change after because he was her 'absolutely most favorite companion'. I had to do Lisa first, because once an uptight bitch, always an uptight bitch, so our little Buffy didn't get out much. Lisa's a party girl, so she was easier to get access to. I changed her two days before I changed Buffy. I sent her to do a little taunting the next day and then showed up at Buffy's door with Lisa the day after that, claiming that Lisa was going through some stuff she hadn't told her about, and she wanted to apologize, so if she'd just invite us in to talk…"

"And she fell for that?" Angel grinned. "Goddamn, wish I'd been there."

"Well, she said that she'd rather talk with just Lisa alone, seeing as she didn't know me and all, but was gracious enough to bring me the phone to call a cab. With no memory of vampires, she didn't see what was coming at all."

It seemed Dru had finally been shut up, and Buffy announced to the room, "I'm hungry."

Darla told her, "Well, we're all out of blood in the fridge, but it's day so you'll have to wait till tonight to get in a kill."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Duh, I'll just call the pizza place."

"Pizza won't satisfy your new hungers, poppet…" Drusilla purred.

Buffy reached for the phone, smiling evilly. "You old vamps could really learn a thing or two from our new generation. Pizza Hut's got this great new deal: order two ten-inch cheese pizzas… and you get a delivery boy for free."


	3. Part 3

Part 3 (see disclaimers, summary, etc. in part 1)

Angelus observed the girl as she was licking her lips after her snack. He sauntered over to her, with every intention of making her his new play thing.

"Well, hello," he began, giving her his sexy half-smile that had been incredibly effective on women in the past.

She glanced at him disinterestedly, "Oh, you. Hi."

She proceeded to study her nails.

Not so easily put off, he continued, "I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Angelus. I'm an old, old friend of Darla and Dru's."

"Yes, I know. And I think we got very well acquainted last night, though I was told you might not remember that," she returned, still seeming surprisingly unimpressed with him, especially after having experienced what he had to offer in the bedroom. "I'm Janey."

"Your name is Janey?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes. I thought Darla would have told you about me by now."

"Well, she did, but she didn't refer to you by name… that name. I kind of thought you went by something else."

Buffy, or 'Janey', leaned back in her chair. "She told you about the memory thing, right? Three years ago I was found, blah, blah, blah, no one knew who I was. You know what they call girls with no identity? Jane Doe."

Angelus couldn't keep his mouth from twitching, but kept his laugh in. "You've been living the last three years under the name Jane Doe?"

She rolled her eyes, clearly bored by their exchange. "Jane Heart. No one would go out into society called Jane Doe and be taken seriously. Sacred Heart was the name of the hospital I was in; it was our only inspiration. So, Jane Heart."

He began to open his mouth to change the topic to something more his style, like sex, death or maiming, when she stopped him with, "You know what? I think I'm just going to… go over there."

As she started to stand, he shoved her hips and pushed her back into a sitting position. "Excuse me? Until just then I was chalking your attitude up to youthful insolence, but that little remark was just… blatantly disrespectful. You said you knew who I was, but do you _really_ know who I am? I'm Angelus, the fucking Scourge of Europe. I'm your elder. I was maiming children hundreds of years before you were born. I'm the reason they _invented_ the word evil. I'm… badass."

She rolled her eyes again, "Yeah, uh huh, old man. Whatever. Look, Darla said you were some big impressive sadist who I could learn from, and that I shouldn't judge you by your behavior last night. But, come on. It's a little hard for me to look past all the fucking sonnets and words of 'eternal love' you were spurting last night like a damn pansy. God! It was completely gag-worthy and nearly made it impossible to come. Your talent with the physical stuff just didn't make up for that repulsive nonsense. Now, if you'll excuse me, poetry boy…"

She walked over to the only other man in the room, Mark, and sat on his lap, while flirtingly playing with his hair. Angelus sputtered in disbelief as she walked away.

"That… that wasn't me! It's a damn, fucking curse! I'm _badass_, damnit!" he called.

Dru wandered over to him and rested her head on his knee, staring fondly into his eyes. "We tried to explain the nasty curse situation to them, my sweet, but they're too young and disbelieving to understand. You'll just have to prove to them what a mean and vicious demon you are. We'll have to kill lots and lots of people tonight…"

"Well, I do like the sound of that…"

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They were all walking down the street that evening, heading out for the night to see what entertainment and feasting they could find.

They passed a man probably in his mid-twenties, and obviously very drunk. "Hey, could you spare some money for a beer? I ran out and…"

Angelus threw him against a building wall with one solid strike. He yanked the man up by his shirt and, vamped out now, bit into his shoulder and began to drink.

After a moment, he pulled back, but still held the guy. "Man, that guy had a lot in him. Already a good start on a buzz for tonight." He turned to Janey, "See? I'm a killer; I don't give mercy. He's not empty yet; care for a taste?"

She smiled mockingly, "Aw, you're so polite you even offer to share your food! No thanks, I don't go for leftovers."

She continued walking, followed by her flunkies, Lisa and Mark.

Angelus growled in frustration, "I'm not polite, damnit! I'm…fucking…evil!"

Dru took his arm and Darla cooed reassuringly, "She's young and impressionable. She just hasn't seen you really in action yet. You'll show her. Look on the bright side, she's already showing a ruthlessness and power that will make her a very useful ally."

"Whatever," Angelus grunted, throwing his shoulders back before walking after the other three.

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Three hours later, Angelus had managed to convince Janey to join him out on the dance floor at a club they were perusing. It wasn't a slow number, but unlike his soulful alter-ego he could hold his own at bumping and grinding, despite being as hopeless at jiving to the beat.

"So are you not quite as disdainful of me as you were before?" he enquired, holding her hips against his.

"Well, those last three kills were rather impressive. I guess it's possible that I misjudged you…"

"I'm glad you're woman enough to admit when you're wrong."

"I just didn't understand the whole 'soul' thing. It doesn't make much sense at all. Why would a vampire have a soul? And why would you suddenly wake up different? And why did I have to take the job; why didn't Darla just do you? You two used to have a thing, didn't you?"

"A very complicated, annoying situation created by some fucking gypsies that is far too long and boring a story to take up time in our dance," he responded.

She smiled coyly, "You know, I'll also admit that you were good… if one ignores the putrescence that came out of your mouth."

"Well, perhaps if you're a very good – or a very bad – little girl, I'll let you have another go at it. And I won't be telling you any sonnets, either. The only things you'll hear coming out of my mouth is what a naughty girl you are while you're tied to my bed."

She gave him a wide, bright grin that reminded him of the youthful happiness he'd seen in that face years earlier. "Well, that sounds like quite an offer."

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They were back in the apartment in the early morning hours, tired and sated after a full night of killings, dancing and liquor. Janey was tucked on Angelus's lap, her entire demeanor promising him she would be more than willing to hold him to his offer.

He lifted her off of him, saying, "Why don't you head to the master bedroom and wait for me, princess, while I have a little chat with Darla?"

She agreed rather eagerly and headed off to the bedroom.

"I'm glad you've reinstated your position as alpha-male," Darla declared. "Mark wasn't quite up to the standards. He's rather weak."

"And you don't mind… that I'm going to bed with her and not with you?"

"Well, of course, I did at first. It's not exactly my nature to accept that you might want someone else more than me. But I guess it was to be expected with her here like this. But, you know, as long as I still get a go every once in awhile. We screwed each other over way too frequently to expect that we'll ever do well in an exclusive relationship again."

Angelus smiled tightly, "Ah, yes. I do remember fondly the time you rode off on our only horse leaving me unconscious to deal with Holtz."

"We did have some wonderful times, didn't we? But anyway, times have changed. We've been through different circumstances now. I wouldn't expect you to keep out of her pants now that she's on our side. Plus, I can always go a few rounds with Mark. He's no master vampire, but he knows what he's doing. Although, I do think he's a bit more annoyed with you romancing the pretty young thing than I am."

Angelus laughed heartily, "Poor boy, so pathetic. I take it when she became a vampire and made him he assumed it was her choosing him as an eternal mate?"

"Indeed," Darla nodded. "And I've gotten the impression that he was beyond smitten with her when they were both alive. He was her doctor when they found her, you know. It's not often doctors stay in touch with their patients three years on. But I think she's been trying to enforce in him now that even while she wanted him by her side in this, she's not his for keeps. She's already gotten around with men quite a bit before you came along, and when he was annoyed about that, she said 'I'll have you when I want you, not the other way around.' She's really shown an appreciation for the natural order of things in our culture, lecturing him on how her being his sire means what she says goes."

"She's got a taste for dominance," Angelus noted. "Good."

A short silence fell over the room.

Suddenly, Angelus said, "You realize if the good guys manage to put the soul back in me, you're fucked, right?"

Darla nodded, "Then we just have to make sure to kill them all."


	4. Part 4

Part 4 (see disclaimers, summary, etc. in part 1)

The ringing of the hotel room phone roused Faith from sleep the following morning. She glanced at the alarm clock, 8:27 a.m., and groaned.

She lifted the receiver and groggily answered, "Hello?"

"Faith!" Angel's voice came through the line. "Hey, it's me."

"Angel!" she exclaimed, jumping into a sitting position, jolting Gunn out of his sleep next to her.

"That's Angel?" Gunn asked, alert quickly. "Ask him where the hell he's-"

"Where the hell have you been?" Faith continued, shushing him with her hand. "We've been looking all over for you, the bar you searched, demon hangouts, vamp lairs. Why haven't you called? It's been more than twenty-four hours!"

"I know, I know, damn, I'm sorry. It's a really long story. I can't explain over the phone. Look, it's morning again now, so I can't get anywhere till nightfall. Could you guys come meet me after sunset back at Thor's Lair? I'll explain everything there."

"Yeah, fine. We'll be there," she shared a glance with Gunn.

"Ok, I've gotta go now though. See you there," he said, hanging up without waiting for a reply.

"Whatever," Faith grumbled, rolling back over into Gunn's arms.

"He's alright, then?" Gunn murmured.

"I suppose so. We should let Fred and Wes know when we meet up with them later. And call the others back in LA. I don't know what's been going on, though; he wasn't very verbal."

Gunn shrugged slightly. "That's his usual thing."

"Yeah…" Faith mumbled, already slipping back into sleep.

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The four members of the AI team walked into Thor's Lair that evening nearly an hour after sundown. They found Angel sitting at a booth nursing a drink.

Fred ran up to him first and threw her arms around his neck in a quick, fierce hug. "I'm so glad you're alright, Angel. We were all so worried!"

"Are we late?" Wes enquired, slipping in the booth next to Faith.

"No, no," Angelus answered with a grin. "Your timing is impeccable."

"So what up?" Gunn began. "Where you been?"

Angelus took a deep, affected, unneeded breath before beginning, "Well, checking things out here turned out to be a bust."

"Yeah, we know. I found the relic elsewhere. So what happened to you?" Faith interrupted impatiently.

"I didn't find anything, but Drusilla was here. She gave me a drink. There was something in it."

"Why on earth did you accept a drink from Drusilla?" Wesley demanded, but went on without waiting for an answer, "What did it do to you?"

"It made me delirious, unaware of the consequences of my actions," Angelus answered simply.

"For how long? A day and a half? Where have you been?" Faith asked angrily.

Angelus lifted his cup and inspected it. "Oh, would you look at that? I'm all out. Excuse me while I just get another drink." Fred shifted to let him out. "That's great, thanks."

As he reached the bar, Fred whispered to the others, "He seems different somehow."

"Yeah," Gunn agreed. "I think he's not telling us something."

Angelus lifted his glass to them as he began walking back to the table. "I do love scotch. Cheers." He drank the whole glass in one gulp. "Now, the thing is, something else did happen. I mean, you know Dru. I should have known better; she's always up to something. Working with Darla again, too."

He took a deep, dramatic pause, gave them all a pointed glance and then said bluntly and with a grin, "I don't have my soul."

While Fred, Gunn and Wesley seemed momentarily stunned, Faith immediately reacted. She jumped up from her seat and charged him, pinned him against the wall. Some of the bar's other patrons jumped in surprise, and a couple ran out the door. Others seemed unaffected.

"I don't want to kill you. Don't make me have to," she challenged. The other three seemed to get a hold of themselves and moved forward to back her up if necessary.

"I don't intend to give you the option of making that choice," he replied. He raised an eyebrow and a hand, motioning her to pause a moment. Then he let out a long, fake, very deliberate cough.

The back door of the bar opened. Faith glanced over her shoulder to meet eyes with Darla who was standing in the doorway. "Darla," she greeted, in an overly polite tone. "Drugged up our boy, huh? We don't like that much. Where _did_ you manage to find a drug that induced such intense deliria that it convinced him you were his perfect happiness?"

Darla's eyes narrowed, "I'll have you know-"

Angelus cut her off with a laugh. "Now, now, dear, what's the point in lying? You know very well the slayer's right." Directed to Faith, he said, "There was a little more to the plan than that."

Darla stepped forward into the room, followed by Drusilla, and three others who held back behind the first two women.

A man who'd been sitting at the bar gave an appraising glance to the girl at the back of the group, who was mostly hidden from the view of the AI team. He drunkenly reached out a hand to her behind.

Seeing the hand approach, the girl remarked, "I wouldn't do that-" The hand made contact and quicker than anyone in the room could react, she'd reached her own hand up to his neck and snapped it. "Tried to warn you."

She stepped forward ahead of the rest of her group, out of the shadows.

Faith found her eyes meeting the eyes of Buffy Summers, the vampire.

"Why, hey there, Faithie, did you miss me?"


	5. Part 5

Part 5 (see disclaimers, summary, etc. in part 1)

Faith's sudden shock was enough for Angelus to throw her off of him, despite her greater strength. She immediately got up from her new position on the floor, prepared to fight the new potentially very dangerous enemy, Buffy. Gunn took the opportunity to run at Angelus, hoping to take him by surprise, but Angelus was aware and was soon winning at hand to hand combat.

When Gunn's only stake was flung across the room, Wesley came forward to back up Gunn while yelling at Fred to leave quickly. Fred, however, was backing up to the doorway as cautiously as possible, too afraid to break into a run knowing that any one of the vampires had the super strength and speed to catch her. She was too shaken to notice that the two unfamiliar vampires had snuck behind her until they grabbed her and threw her into Drusilla's arms.

Faith and Buffy were circling each other cautiously and appraisingly, delaying who was going to make the first blow.

Gunn and Wesley continued fighting against Angelus.

They all stopped when they heard Fred's small cry.

Drusilla, now holding their attention, nodded to the fighters on the side of good and said, "Ah, ah, ah… Careful now, I've got her pretty little neck at my mercy, just begging for a snap."

They all hesitated for a moment. Faith and Gunn shared a glance, the signal clear in Faith's eyes, though missed by both vampires who were more interested in their next mode of attack. Angelus and Buffy both grinned, ready to make their kills when suddenly Gunn flung his entire body at Angelus.

They fell crashing to the ground and while everyone's attention was drawn to them, Faith dashed over to Drusilla and Fred and with two blows managed to have Drusilla on the ground and Fred out of her arms.

"Let's get out of here! Run!" Faith screamed, dragging Fred towards the door. Wesley immediately followed, and Gunn scrambled to the door. The unknown male vampire went to stop him, but Gunn easily threw him out of his path and ran out the door.

They continued running, not daring to look back, the entire way back to their hotel. When they got there, they walked exhausted and upset to Wesley and Fred's room.

Faith sat down heavily on the bed, put her head in her hands and moaned. She couldn't accept that what had just happened was real. Losing Angel again was about the worst thing she could think of. With the exception of Gunn in the past year or so, Angel had always been the only one who ever really believed in her. It was he who had somehow pulled the strings to get her out of jail not long after Buffy's death. The Hellmouth needed a new slayer, but the thought of leaving Angel's belief for her in exchange for the distrust she expected from the scoobies had been daunting. She'd eventually proved herself to them, but she was still almost relieved when Sunnydale pretty much imploded, leaving her nowhere to go but back to LA.

Gunn sat and put an arm around her, shushing her lightly. When she looked up, she had a bewildered expression on her face and a glazed look in her eyes, though she refused to let the tears spill. "I can't believe… he can't… Not Angel. We can't do this without him. He can't be evil again; we can't have lost him…"

Fred sat on the floor, cross-legged with a blank and disbelieving look on her face too.

Wesley, still standing, cleared his throat and started, "We, uh… we should-"

"And Buffy!" Faith continued, jumping to her feet and wringing her hands. "They had Buffy, too! Evil Buffy! How is that even possible? I don't understand…"

"This looks bad, I'll give you that. But we can handle it. We always pull through, don't we? Why don't we just call the folks in LA and explain what's going on. Then we'll all come up with a plan together." Gunn reasoned.

"We'll get him back." Fred stated. She nodded, as if convincing herself. "Yeah, it'll be okay."

A silence fell over the room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back at Darla's apartment, the vampires settled down.

"Well, that went fucking splendidly," Darla spat out, with a harsh look around the room.

Buffy stood up defensively, "I didn't see you doing much to help out!"

"Even tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum here played some part," Angelus glared at Darla, motioning to Mark and Lisa.

"Hey!" Lisa's eyes narrowed. "I'll have you know-"

"Oh, please," Darla waved her off. "Like you matter. But anyway, let's not fight and point fingers. Let's focus on the problem at hand: they now _know_ you're evil and they're still alive. Next thing, they're going to be calling that little red-headed bitch in LA and _voila_, you're a boring broody boy again. We might as well tie you up now so you'll be an easy kill when the soul makes its appearance."

"I think not," Angelus scoffed and glared. "There are always backup options. Besides, we had an incident a couple years ago when a Shartock demon thought I'd be a useful ally so he did a spell to make me lose my soul. Willow used the Orb of Thessulah she'd kept on hand, and then when she went to find a new one she found out that no magic shops in LA keep them in stock anymore. You have to special order them and it costs a fortune, so she didn't order. It'll be at least a few days before she gets her hands on one; we don't have to worry until then."

"So what will we do for fun until then?" Janey smiled mischievously.

Lisa, still pouting, cut in again, "I matter. I've done some damn impressive kills in the week since you killed me and…"

"You ate a few people, you disemboweled one guy… you're not quite up to my standards yet," Darla said condescendingly.

Mark spoke up in defense of his friend who was looked down upon about as often as he was, "Drusilla told me earlier that vampires are usually really picky about who they sire, especially you older ones. You must have seen something special in her to make her one of you."

Darla rolled her eyes. "What I _saw_ in her was an opportunity to get to _her_," she said, motioning towards Janey.

Janey leaned forward, resting her head in her hands, "And what in me did you see that was special?"

"We know more about your past and who you are than we've told you so far. You'll find out in time. You're a remarkable warrior with very powerful blood, and you were in life as well. It was a bonus to have you on our side but it would have been just as worth it just to get a taste of that blood. It's like ambrosia," Darla answered. "Wouldn't you say so, Angelus? You had a taste once, too, didn't you?"

"Indeed," Angelus smiled coolly. "There's nothing else like it."

Janey got up and took a few thoughtful steps. She turned back to them. "Really?" Angelus nodded. "My blood? … How very interesting."

She took a few more steps, and swung around with a big smile to face Mark. She gave him a meaningful look. He raised his eyebrows, and she lifted her chin with her smile increasing.

"No…" he whispered, an understanding look crossing his face.

She nodded, "Oh, yes…"

Janey smiled and clapped her hands excitedly.

"I feel like I'm missing the punch-line of a joke, here. What the fuck are you going on about?" Angelus said.

"Emily," Lisa answered, also clued in.

"Who's Emily?" Darla asked, confused, looking between Janey, Mark and Lisa for some explanation.

Janey answered with a grin, "My daughter."


	6. Part 6

Part 6 (see disclaimers, summary, etc. in part 1)

The words "my daughter" seemed to hang in the air. Angelus turned to give Darla a pointed look, and she shrugged back with a facial expression that showed she knew as little as he did on the matter.

"So you're thinking she'd be a nice snack?" Lisa enquired.

"Well, if we've got _powerful blood_…" Janey answered slyly.

Angelus stood up and raised his hands, stopping the conversation from going any further. "Wait. Stop. Let me get this straight. You have a daughter?" Janey nodded. "Since when?"

Janey approached him slowly and ran her hands along his shoulder, urging him to sit back down and be calm. He sat down, but was no less intensely interested. "She's two and a half years old."

"And why didn't I know about this?" Darla demanded. She turned her attention to Lisa and repeated, "Why didn't I know about this!"

Lisa replied drolly, "When you were pretending to be my friend in order to find out information about my dear friend, Janey, I was only answering the questions you asked. I wasn't the type of human who goes around blabbing all the personal information about my friends."

"You knew I was a boring little bitch who stayed in all the time," Janey commented. "It wasn't something innate about my personality that made me that way… I had reasons to stay in. Didn't you wonder why?"

"Lisa just told me it was great to have me around because none of her other friends were fun enough to come out with her." Darla responded.

"I wasn't being _literal_," Lisa complained. "I adored my friends; I wouldn't insult her like that and mean it."

Angelus didn't care about why Darla hadn't been told before. "Who's the father?"

"I don't know," Janey answered.

"You don't _know_?" Angelus suddenly roared, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her. "Were you such a little slut when you got back that you couldn't tell who the father of your child was?"

"No! God. Emily was born two and a half years ago, Angelus. I was found in that alley with no memory pretty much exactly nine months before that. You do the math. She was conceived before I forgot. Very soon before."

"The, uh," Mark interrupted, asserting himself again as the doctor who had taken care of her at the time, "the conception was so recent, in fact, that we didn't even notice it at first. When we realized, we figured maybe the accident that landed her in that alley was rape, but there was no… there was no sign of forced, um, penetration."

Angelus slowly released his tight grip on Janey's shoulders. He stared at the deep red fingerprints where his hands had been. "Ok. So you… you pretty much had a baby in you when you returned."

"Returned from where? Came back from where?" Janey challenged, suddenly very angry. "You all obviously know more about me and my past than you've been telling me. This ambrosial blood and shit. Feeding me that line to say to that Faith chick at the bar who was obviously also familiar with me. What the fuck is going on? Who am I?"

"Who _were_ you," Darla corrected. "Do you really care anymore about that whiny little girl you used to be? You're an unmatchable force of evil now. Forget what came before; you're above and beyond that now."

"I don't care at all. The girl I was can go to hell for all I care. I'm better now. I just don't like secrets," Janey responded.

"Well then," Angelus cut in. "None of these disagreements matter then, do they? Let's move on then. About this tasty little morsel carrying your blood… where can we find her?"

Janey nodded, resigned to letting the topic go. "Well, she was in the bedroom when Darla came in and changed me… You just took my body away right after that, right? So she was left there… Maybe she's still there?"

Darla's eyes widened in disbelief. She couldn't believe she'd been so concerned about getting Janey out of the apartment or getting herself invited in that she hadn't realized there'd been another human in the place.

Mark shook his head. "Not a chance. Authorities would have to find an abandoned two year old. I mean, she goes to nursery school and you haven't exactly been calling in sick for her. The people in charge over there would have to make some calls."

"I don't know. It's only been a week and that nursery school is pretty crap. Maybe they wouldn't be concerned about me being a lax mother."

Mark snorted with disgust, "I always told you that you should have let me pay for a better one."

Janey cocked her head and smiled in a slightly condescending way. "Well, isn't it good now that I was never willing to accept your charity? At least there's some chance she'll still be there. I'll check it out anyway," she said, already heading for the door.

Angelus grabbed his duster and began to follow her to the door.

She gave him a look. "And where do you think you're going?"

"I'm coming with you."

"Uh, no, you're not," she argued. "Didn't you hear me say _I'll_ go check it out? This is my kid, my business, my snack. She's too small to share."

"There's more blood in children than you'd think. You haven't killed one yet, have you?" he asked. She shook her head. "Anyway, especially a kid like this: with your blood, she'll be more than satisfying. I'd like to see you try to keep me out of this."

"You realize even if she hasn't been found by authorities she'll have been starving for the past week?" Mark pointed out.

"Ok, so we'll fatten her up and then eat her," Janey rolled her eyes. "Let's _go_, already."

They left.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"… if she's even remotely skinny, it's only going to be from this past week though," Janey continued explaining to Angelus as they later made their way up the staircase in her old building. "I was a good mom. I put her needs ahead of everything. I just had a crappy retail job, you know? I woke up with no name and no record of an education and it was too expensive to get one. I had a little income, and my top priorities were having a roof over her head and getting her fed. Even my own eating needs came second, and anything else I needed or wanted wasn't even on the map. She's had it good."

Angelus kept silent throughout this account of her life before her vampirism. The sentiments she was expressing and the tone of her voice sounded almost like she was hanging on to those human emotions. It wasn't uncommon for new vampires to want and care about those things that had been important when they were human until they became more accustomed to their new state of being. He'd never seen a slayer turned before either, maybe the effect on their psyche was different than with others. After all, he hadn't exactly done much _talking_ with her yet. He didn't really know how to respond to her being so open.

She relieved his apprehensions by finishing off with a grinning, "She's been taken care of well enough to make her good enough to eat."

He laughed, and noticed that they'd stopped in front of a doorway.

Janey seemed to hesitate for a moment, and just when he was about to ask if something was wrong, she commented, "I don't have the key; I don't know what happened to it."

They paused a second more, then she shrugged and gave a hard hit to the doorknob, banging it inwards, and making the door possible to open.

They walked inside. Angelus looked around. He couldn't imagine Buffy ever being comfortable in such a confined space. The main room was only slightly larger than his bathroom back at the hotel, and was a combination living room-kitchen. There was a door that led to a tiny bathroom in terrible condition, and another closed door which presumably led to the bedroom.

He turned back to Janey, "She's not here."

Her forehead scrunched up and she frowned, "Well, we haven't checked the bedroom yet. The door was closed before Darla killed me; she was in there sleeping and I don't think she's quite tall enough to reach the knob."

"No," Angelus continued. "I mean, we just walked in without an invitation. I know this place was your home, but you're dead now, and us being able to walk in without the kid inviting us means she's not living here anymore."

Janey opened the bedroom door, anyway, not really focused on what he was saying.

A small and innocent voice sounded out of the room, "Mommy!"


	7. Part 7

Part 7 (see disclaimers, summary, etc. in part 1)

"Well, hey there, sweetie," Janey smiled, though her eyes were empty. "Did you miss me?"

"That's impossible!" Angelus insisted. "We shouldn't have been able to come in if she lives here."

"Well, obviously that little rule is faulty," Janey dismissed. "Hey, Em, why don't you come through to the kitchen so we can have a little chat and you can meet my new friend here?"

A tiny little girl, almost the exact duplicate of her mother, walked out of the room.

Janey was fully back in the mom mode she'd obviously practiced in the last two and a half years, "What, no hug, young lady?"

Emily giggled slightly and wrapped her small arms around Janey's left leg before heading over to the kitchen area.

"You know… she doesn't look particularly upset for a kid who was left alone for the past week. Or thin," Angelus pointed out. "Would someone have been coming here and taking care of her?"

"No chance. The only people in this world who gave a damn about us were Mark and Lisa. Maybe she's just… got a slow metabolism. And is delirious, which makes her happy. I don't know; I never exactly starved her when I was alive so I couldn't say what effect it would have on her."

"I didn't believe you when you said there was a good chance she would still be here. The social services in these parts must be pathetic if authorities wouldn't find out a child had been abandoned in her own home." Angelus mused, appraising the child.

"I don't know… I was poor," Janey responded. "I lived in a crappy part of town. My neighbors were never particularly, you know, neighborly. I think the guy down the hall's a crack dealer. No one would notice I wasn't around, let alone report it. The only one who ever seemed interested was the little old lady downstairs and she's really getting senile. I bet someone could commit suicide in these parts and not get found until the smell began to spread."

She lifted up Emily and placed her on a chair in the kitchen, "Now, lovebug, since you don't look particularly thin, we don't have to wait to work on you. Now, I want to savor this, nice and slow…" She looked around the counter for a moment, and retrieved a rather large kitchen knife. "Just a taste to start…"

Angelus and Janey both approached close to Emily, and Janey took her left arm in a strong grip. As the knife was lowered to her skin, Emily frowned up at her mother slightly, but didn't seem particularly afraid.

"How adorably trusting…" Angelus remarked dryly.

Janey broke the skin with the knife and dragged it about two inches along. "That's, um… that's odd."

The skin was closed and perfectly healed before she even finished the slice and lifted the knife. No blood was even left dripping.

"Uh… has this ever happened before?"

"I don't – I don't think she's ever been cut before," Janey answered distractedly, lifting the child's hand for a closer inspection as if it would suddenly show her what went wrong.

"And she's definitely human? You sure you didn't go around mating with any demons before you woke up in that alley?"

"Yes, she's human. She was born in a hospital, she's been checked out by doctors, I'm sure they would have noticed if there was something inhuman and bizarre about her." They both hesitated, unsure what to make of the strange situation. "Should we just go straight for the fangs and not play first?"

"I don't-"

Suddenly, Emily grabbed them each by an arm and whispered something unintelligible.

Angelus started, "Was – was that Lati?"

Both vampires fell to the ground unconscious.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Angel groaned upon waking, and stretched his aching neck before opening his eyes. It was the second time in less than forty-eight hours that he'd woken confused after having something strange done to his body. Except this time, he was himself again.

His head was aching and throbbing, and he was so distracted by the headache that it took him longer than it should have to notice that he had a heartbeat.

He let out a surprised grunting sound that was somewhere between "Oh!" and "What?" before jumping to his feet and looking around the room.

He turned and saw Janey watching him warily from her seated position on the couch, clutching Emily to her lap. She had thrown on a large, modest sweatshirt, covering up her short red dress, a style that she had been favoring as a vampire.

He ran a hand through his hair, unsure what to say. He opened his mouth uncertainly, but she cut him off with, "When I woke up a few minutes ago, I first thought the whole past week of my life must have been a dream. Then I saw you. It was real, wasn't it? I died, I was a vampire, a killer. We were both undead less than an hour ago, and now we're alive. I checked your pulse."

They were both silent for a long moment. Then he leaned against the counter thoughtfully and said, "That's an odd little girl you've got there."

Her facial expression immediately went defensive, and she seemed to clutch Emily tighter. "She's not odd; she's my kid."

"Look what she was capable of doing to us," he argued.

"Well, a lot of weird stuff has been going on lately," Janey responded. "How do we even know what happened to us here was because of her?"

"She didn't stay cut. She didn't bleed. She spoke Latin. Have you been taking your two year old to foreign dead language lessons? She's not a normal human."

Janey looked confused and upset. "She's – she's my daughter."

"She's immortal… more immortal than any vampire."

"That's not possible! I gave birth to her! I know her! She's my little girl. She's normal, and sweet, and human."

"You don't even know who or what the father was," Angel pointed out.

"It doesn't matter," she stated softly. "I know who she is."

He shook his head, not knowing how to deal with this situation. He was suddenly human. Not only that, Buffy, whom he'd accepted a long time ago was lost to him forever, was right in front of him. There shouldn't have been any more confusion or pain. But she still didn't know who she was.

"Let's not argue," he reasoned. "The important thing is that we're ourselves again. We have time to figure out the rest of the details."

Her lip trembled slightly and she looked away. "We killed people."

"Yeah…" Angel responded. He was feeling similar guilt for his new crimes that he had for those in the past, although it was less this time because he'd only had two days and the guilt was a familiar feeling for him. Janey had done less evil than he had ever done, but he knew what it was like to come back that first time and realize you'd been a murderer.

There was an awkward silence as they both went over recent events in their heads.

"I just-" Janey suddenly spoke, "I don't understand how she could be… I mean, she's always been a normal kid. She hasn't even been talking in full sentences in English yet; how does she know Latin?"

He recognized the faraway tone in her voice as meaning she was thinking aloud and probably not expecting any real answer from him. He also didn't think she needed or wanted to hear "she's not human" again.

She was now distractedly looking at her daughter, playing with her hair.

After a moment, she looked back at him and asked, "So what now?"


	8. Part 8

Part 8 (see disclaimers, summary, etc. in part 1)

There was a knock on the door of Faith and Gunn's hotel room.

"Who is it?" Faith called. She was stronger than Angelus, so she wasn't really afraid of the idea of him showing up at her door, but if he was going to she wanted to be warned.

"It's us," Fred answered. Faith opened the door and nodded, motioning for them to come in.

"I take it you weren't successful at finding the vampires' hideout?" Wesley questioned. Faith and Gunn both shook their heads in return.

"Not a thing," Gunn said. "How 'bout you guys? How'd talking to the rest back home go?"

Fred answered, "Willow said she won't be able to get an Orb of Thessulah for another few days and that our only real option is to just stay out of his way so we don't kill him or get killed before then. They're all researching for an explanation for Buffy's reappearance, and notified the Glotgens that the relic's safe but won't be back in LA right away."

"Okay," Faith nodded. "So, there's nothing left for us to do except… stay here."

"Precisely," Wesley agreed.

Another knock sounded at the door. They all looked at each other and then the door suspiciously. They weren't expecting any other visitors.

"Who is it?" Faith asked again.

"It's me," Angel's voice sounded through the door.

"Ha!" Fred attempted to sound brave and defiant. "Like we're really going to let you in!"

"No, it's _me_," Angel insisted. "Me with a soul. I'm not evil anymore."

"Do you really expect us to believe that?" Wesley scoffed.

"Was I invited into this room before?" Angel asked.

"What?" Fred asked.

Angel continued, "Neither Faith or Gunn invited me in here before. If you don't invite me, I can't come in. Just open the door so we can talk."

Wesley looked at Faith and Gunn for confirmation; they both nodded. He stepped forward and opened the door to find not only Angel there, but also Buffy holding a small girl.

"Thanks," Angel nodded. He stepped forward into the room.

"Liar!" Fred gasped, wide-eyed. Faith jumped into a fighting stance.

"I was proving my point the only way I knew how," Angel explained as Buffy walked into the room behind him. "We're human now."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Twenty minutes later, Janey was repeating a question she'd asked not all that long before: "So what now?"

"Well, um… we've got a couple of witch associates back at our headquarters in LA. After we get this whole mess with Darla and her groupies sorted out, we can head back there and I'm pretty sure they'd have a spell that would restore your memory," Faith started, wondering why they hadn't yet explained how they knew Buffy from beforehand and whether she was willing to be the one to do so.

Wesley continued, "So then we can hopefully figure out how exactly you wound up in that alley that day, what exactly Emily's origins are, and-"

"And who I am. Where I came from. Who my family is," Janey stated, a tone of awe in her voice. "My name…"

"Uh, yes," Wesley coughed. He also wasn't sure he was ready to tell her of her connection to Buffy. They didn't even know what that connection was yet, and if it turned out to be less than substantial, it would likely only cause her extra emotional pain to hear it. It was best just to get through their current ordeal and see if she could offer her own explanation once she got her memory back.

"And as far as 'getting this whole mess with Darla and her groupies sorted out'; where do you suppose we start there?" Fred asked.

"I don't know," Angel started. "We can't let them go on as they are, evil vampires roaming the streets. I've let that go on way too long. I'd say our only option is to go surprise attack and kill them all, but I don't know if we have the power to do that right now. You guys didn't have much success against them at the bar, and even though you have us on your side now, I can already tell I don't have the strength I did as a vampire. I still have the training and skills, but it's not enough against Darla."

"I wouldn't want to kill them all anyway," Janey inserted. "I mean, we were just as evil as they were and we've been given the chance to live our lives again. I think they deserve the same chance. I'm willing to accept now that my daughter isn't like the other kids in the playground if it'll save the lives of my two best friends. If she could do it for us, she'll do it for them." She suddenly seemed to process the other part of what he said. "You don't feel as strong as you did as a vampire? How can you tell? I don't feel any different strength-wise."

Angel's first instinct upon hearing that was to feel surprised, but then he realized it really wasn't all that strange. "Were you, uh, unnaturally strong before you became a vampire?"

She looked at her hands thoughtfully for a moment before glancing at the five faces in the room that were looking at her expectantly. "I never… well, I guess I never really thought about it. I mean, I was strong, but…" She stopped and nodded, "Yeah. Yes, I think so. I never really thought to compare it to anything, but I was always breaking things by accident, and… I once got attacked by this guy and my instinctive methods of self-defense landed him in the hospital. People were pretty shocked; he was a big guy."

"Someone attacked you?" Angel gritted out angrily.

"He was drunk. He was a boyfriend of Lisa's; she never had the best taste in men. They'd had a fight that day and for some reason he decided to come see me afterwards."

"For what?"

"What does it matter?" she responded defensively. "We've got more important things to deal with right now."

"Right," Gunn went on. "Like what to do about Darla. How about instead of rushing in to kill them, you rush in with Emily and change them all?"

"We're just going to run in there with a toddler and the battle cry 'I'm going to make you touch the baby!'?" Angel asked skeptically.

"Or," Faith reasoned, "the slightly more subtle 'we decided to share our snack'?"

"I'm not volunteering my kid as a victim. What if something goes wrong?" Janey insisted.

"From what you told us about earlier tonight, she can't be hurt. She's immortal; there's no risk to her well-being," Wesley argued.

"It's a faulty idea, anyway," Angel disagreed. "I mean, clearly Emily has a purpose in the fight against evil; she'll be a great asset when she gets older as far as saving those that can and need to be saved. But then she'll be able to pick and choose. I just don't think… I mean, can you imagine Drusilla becoming human again? With a soul? Her mind would cave in on itself; she'd be locked in a padded room for the rest of her life. It's more merciful just to kill her. And Darla… well, she was human again when Wolfram and Hart first brought her back, and she didn't seem to enjoy that too much either. I have a feeling human Darla's first course of action would be to go find another master vampire to change her back."

"Okay, fine, so we'll kill them and use Emily to change back Mark and Lisa," Janey concluded. She suddenly exhaled and shook her head with a humorless chuckle. "This is ridiculous. A week or so ago, my big life dilemma was how to pay the rent. Now there are vampires, witches, Emily's not human, I'm talking about killing people…"

"You get used to it fast, believe me," Faith said. "Soon enough you'll be arguing without blinking an eye over whether the best way to kill a Hablock demon is to behead it or cut out its second heart."

"It's beheading," Gunn responded automatically.

"The heart," Faith argued back.

Wesley cleared his throat. "About the problem at hand…"

Angel caught Janey's eye, "I know you want to make sure Mark and Lisa will be okay, but if they make it difficult for us to change them… if they attack, we might have no choice."

Janey shook her head firmly, "I don't care what it takes. For more than three years I haven't had anyone in my life but Emily and those two. Mark's been my savior more than once; I owe him the same back. And I won't let Lisa be a monster forever, either."

"If you say so," he responded, knowing she wouldn't be happy if he argued further.

"So, the basic idea is that you guys walk in with the kid, offer her up to Mark and Lisa, and the rest of us will hang outside waiting on the signal for game time?" Faith reasoned.

"That would be the best thing," Wesley stated. "Fred, you should stay here. Call the others, tell them the latest news. Hopefully we won't be long."

She nodded, "Be careful."

"Aren't we always?" Faith winked as they walked out the door.


	9. Part 9

Part 9 (see disclaimers, summary, etc. in part 1)

Darla looked up as Angel walked into the room. "Took you long enough. Did you play with her first? I bet it's been awhile since you tortured a child."

She then noticed Janey walking in behind him with the little girl and gave them both a slightly confused look, implicitly demanding an explanation.

"We decided to share," Janey said quickly. The others had drilled into her on the way there that she had to act the same way she did as a vampire. She was somewhat nervous though and wasn't sure she was good enough of an actress. However, Darla didn't appear to notice, seemingly more focused on painting her nails than paying attention to Janey's demeanor. She gave a partly amused, partly surprised half smile.

"Did you? Well, this is a fine time for you to get some manners, Angelus; that little thing's hardly enough for the two of you."

Before Angel could form a response, Drusilla, Lisa and Mark walked out of the bedroom.

Lisa declared brightly, "Oh, you brought her back for all of us!"

She and Drusilla quickly headed towards them with interest, while Mark took a seat on the couch and watched.

Wary of Drusilla's approach to Janey and Emily, Angel started, "Well, actually, if you could just wait-"

It was too late. The two women were quick and direct in their pursuit of the child and before he was halfway through his sentence, Emily had grabbed each of them by their hands and repeated the same Latin phrase. They both fell to the floor.

Darla jumped up, suddenly alert. She immediately realized what she knew she should have noticed right away. "You're human," she stated, unable to mask the horrified look on her face.

Angel immediately took action, grabbing the stake from his jacket pocket and throwing it towards her. It passed several feet away from her, and clattered to the ground uselessly.

She smirked, "Don't have quite the same talent for aim in your current condition."

As soon as she and Mark began to approach them, Janey shouted "Now!" while placing Emily on the floor before assuming a defensive fighting stance. The door burst open and the others entered, handing their extra weapons to Janey and Angel.

Mark gave Darla a worried glance and held back, no longer sure the two of them had an advantage. Darla, however, determinedly leaped into battle, already in game face, too furious to consider the threat of a five against one battle. If they were going to kill her, she was at least going to take out the little blonde slayer one last time first. It just wasn't the proper order of things for her to come back to life _three_ times.

Faith took a swipe at her but she dodged expertly and was throwing Janey across the room before anyone could react. Nearly crazed with rage, she forgot all about everyone else present in the room and pinned down Janey where she'd landed, her back fully facing her other four enemies.

"I don't care how many times I have to kill you…" Darla hissed, leaning down to her neck.

"If you were smarter," Janey began, and then the piece of wood stuck through Darla from behind, "you'd realize killing me hasn't been a successful endeavor."

Darla turned to dust, and Janey gave a slight cough before grabbing Angel's outstretched hand and allowing him to help her up. "Thanks," she said.

"You alright?" he asked somewhat worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm-" She stopped suddenly, realizing that they still had one opponent, and turned just in time to see Mark leaping out through the fire escape. "Shit," she cursed under her breath.

"He won't be too much trouble on his own," Angel reassured her. "We'll regroup and get him later."

"To use Emily to change him, right?" she asked, and remembering her daughter went to pick her up and hold her tightly. "Not to kill him?"

He hesitated.

"Mark saw what happened to both of you and now these two," Wesley pointed out, motioning to the two women, now breathing, still unconscious on the floor. "It will be more difficult to convince him to get near Emily. The risk of losing their immortality is very daunting to vampires; they'll do whatever it takes to maintain their power."

"Then we'll do whatever it takes to get him back," Janey argued stubbornly.

They were suddenly distracted by motion on the floor. Drusilla and Lisa were waking up.

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It wasn't long before Drusilla's eyes had widened in utter horror and fear, followed immediately by almost seizure-like writhing and wailing.

Lisa had looked sick, but remained quiet and calm, and eventually joined Janey and Emily on the couch, seeking asylum with the only people in the room she knew well and trusted.

Angel was grabbing Drusilla tightly around her middle, holding her still while whispering meaningless words of comfort repeatedly. He knew the content of what he was saying wouldn't get through to her in this state, but that the soothing tone of his voice might have an effect. Sure enough, within a few minutes she was more manageable, but still not responding to them in any conscious way. She just seemed to close in on herself, occasionally frantically murmuring under her breath ramblings such as, "been a bad bad bad bad bad girl; going to burn in the fires of hell for all eternity; hurts; where's the end…"

Angel was able to let her go, and she curled into a ball. "This never should have happened to her. She'll never be able to function as a person again. She'll be locked up."

"Even if she's put in an institution, they'll believe she's insane for the things that were true and she'll never begin to resolve the issues in her head," Wesley added.

"Look, we just need to take care of that other guy and then we'll figure out what to do with her after we get back to LA," Faith stated impatiently. She turned to Janey, "Hey, B?"

"Hey, what?" Janey responded, confused.

Faith froze a second, realizing her mistake. Then she shook it off, switching back to her usual unconcerned manner. "Slip of the tongue. Where would Mark go?"

Janey's brow furrowed a moment while she thought about it, and she looked to Lisa for any ideas. Receiving a shrug in return, she said, "I don't know. Back to his place, I guess?"

"So let's go check out his place," Gunn responded. "Lead the way."

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They had dropped Drusilla and Lisa off at the hotel with Fred. Drusilla had remained quiet and unmoving, but Wesley stayed with them at the hotel as well for fear of her having an episode and getting out of Fred and Lisa's control. Shortly afterwards, the others arrived at Mark's apartment.

Upon finding the door locked, Faith prepared to bash in the doorknob, but was stopped by Janey's warning hand and her order, "Wait." She fumbled around in her shoulder bag and lifted out a keychain, dangling it in Faith's view for a second before opening the door. "I've always had a copy for 'just in case'," she explained.

They looked around the spacious apartment, quickly finding it empty.

"He's been here, though," Janey called from the bedroom. "Looks like he rummaged through the closet for a change of clothes. He always kept it neat before."

"So where'd he go?" Gunn asked, appearing at the bedroom door.

She shrugged and glanced around the bedroom, her gaze settling on an open photo album. She focused on the pictures on the page, and then looked back up to Gunn. "His parents."


	10. Part 10

Part 10 (see disclaimers, summary, etc. in part 1)

"Maybe they wouldn't be awake to let him in," Faith suggested as they neared Mark's parents' house.

"He has a key," Janey argued. "Turn right here."

Angel steered the rental car onto a smaller residential road. "But he's a vampire; he'd still need an invitation."

"We got into my place without Emily's invitation," she pointed out.

Gunn shook his head, "Emily ain't exactly human. I don't think the same rules apply."

She turned in her seat and glared at him, not liking to again be reminded of how very far from normal her daughter was. She let it go, however, and said, "Doesn't matter. They'd get up and let him in anyway. The next one on the left."

As they pulled up into the driveway and parked, Faith commented, "The front door's wide open."

Janey groaned, "Oh, god, no."

They ran up to the house, weapons ready, and walked inside. They found Mark sitting calmly on the couch in the living room watching television, the obviously dead bodies of his parents tangled on the ground not far from him.

He looked up when they entered. "Ah, shit, I forgot to close and lock the front door in all the excitement, didn't I?"

Janey's eyes rested on the bodies of his parents and her face paled.

"You killed them…" she whispered, horrified, lowering Emily to the floor dazedly before hunching over near the wall. She'd known he was a soulless monster, she remembered the urges and desires that came from being in that position, but still seeing the most brutal display of violence he'd committed yet, on people she'd known and he'd cared about no less, was enough to make her empty her stomach on the carpet.

"Yes, I did," he answered blithely. "I've realized there's something incredibly liberating about getting rid of your family. And I think it's so nice that you've already managed to forget the fact that you tried to kill your own daughter not two hours ago."

Still pale and clutching her stomach now, Janey glanced hopelessly towards Emily. All the things she had done were finally starting to sink in, and she was being confronted with the fact that her longtime friend was completely gone; the tone of his voice empty of its former warmth. Seeing him like this when she was herself again made the truth of the past week all the more clear to her.

Faith, noticing Janey's lack of ability to respond or act, wordlessly picked up Emily and headed towards Mark determinedly.

He jumped up off the couch and started to move away, "Don't think I'm letting you near me with that kid."

"I don't think I'm giving you a choice," Faith stated harshly, but Mark still evaded her.

"Please, Mark," Janey suddenly pleaded tearfully from the floor. "There must be some part inside of you that still remembers who you are."

Angel's eyes darted to her, surprised at the familiarity of those words.

Mark laughed humorlessly. "Oh, I remember who I was. The pathetic little doctor who would do anything to make you happy in the hopes that one day you'd finally turn to him and say, 'I've thought about it and I think we should try being more than just friends.' Sure, I'd love to go back to being that pitiable weakling."

"You were more than that," she uttered, rising to her feet, seemingly stronger than a moment ago. Faith stopped her pursuit for a moment, wondering if she had a different plan.

His eyes grew harsher. "You don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about! Even your precious Mark wasn't the shining hero you'd have yourself believe. You think his love for you was innocent and pure, a boyish crush? He was a thirty-one year old man with an obsession! He jacked off to your picture daily. You know those twenty minutes between when you arrived in the hospital and when you woke up? When he was alone in the room with you he engaged in some 'unprofessional' touching."

"That's not true," she said, approaching him slowly.

"You just don't want it to be," he shook his head. "I could make you powerful like you were, like I am now. We could be an unmatchable pair for eternity."

"I don't want that."

"I could change your mind."

She stopped right in front of him. "Would you still do anything to make me happy?"

He nodded over her shoulder to Faith and Emily. "Anything but that."

She moved to take a step back, but he grabbed her suddenly, pulling her towards him and lowering his face to her neck.

He suddenly jerked back, reeling from the pain of the stake in his back.

"Mark, I'm so sorry," she whispered. He exploded into dust.

She fell to her knees sobbing.

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Janey glanced at Drusilla, Lisa and Emily asleep in the back seat. She turned to Angel, who was driving, and said quietly, "It wasn't true, you know. The things he said. Mark was a good man."

"I know," he nodded.

They'd decided that the only possible next course of action was to head back to LA. Lisa and Janey had both quickly gathered up the few belongings they thought they couldn't do without. They weren't too upset about moving across the country, since they'd both lost their jobs after not showing up for a week and the AI team assured them they'd have a place to stay in the hotel. They were also both ready to leave their recent memories of New York behind. Janey had added that she never felt at home there anyway.

Since it would be pretty much impossible to take Drusilla back on a plane, they'd arranged to take two rental cars and stick close together in case there were any problems along the way. Faith, Gunn, Fred and Wesley were in the other car. They'd told the rest in LA to prepare for their return in several days.

"I killed a lot of people," she whispered sadly, "and it didn't even start to really hurt to think about it until I killed someone I knew and cared about… a second time. What does that say about me as a person?"

"Nothing," Angel insisted. "There was a lot going on, and it was a shock. It took time to sink in."

"That night, the night I showed up at his place and changed him, I pretended to be really upset, asking for his help. I even faked tears," she started, and he wasn't sure if she was really addressing him or just thinking aloud. "He always liked to feel needed by me, and I used that. He invited me in saying he'd do anything to make it better, to fix whatever was wrong. He had so much," she cut off for a moment, choking back a sob, "so much love and trust in his eyes… and I ripped his throat out."

"It wasn't you."

She seemed to focus on him again, "But you've been dealing with this stuff for a long time, right? It must almost be boring for you. I was only a killer for a week. How long were you a vampire?"

"Over two and a half centuries," he answered. "Had the soul for the majority of the last hundred… nearly a hundred and ten years. Took me a long time to come to terms with what I'd done and start living again. You don't have that kind of time now."

"Maybe I deserve to suffer with it for the rest of my life," she responded.

"That would be a waste of a life. It's not every day a vampire is given the opportunity to live again. We should appreciate it."

She looked thoughtfully out the window. "Maybe my outlook will be different after your friends do the spell to help me remember. If my origins are not of the normal, which seems like the case looking at Emily, remembering it might help this all seem a little more manageable."

"We can hope," he answered.

"Hey," she started, sounding somewhat nervous and hesitant. "I know everything's really weird right now, but I just hope that things won't be weird between us, because of the… you know… We're going through the same sort of thing right now and it'd be nice if we could support each other and not have any, um, awkwardness. I'd like us to be friends."

"Oh, yeah, of course," he nodded roughly. "I want that too. Friends."

"Good," she said, a shadow of a smile fleeting across her face before the more haunted expression returned. She nodded slightly and then turned to look out her window.

They drove on in silence.


	11. Part 11

Part 11

"They're going to be here in a few minutes," Willow declared nervously, rushing out of the office into the lobby on her continued mission to make sure that everything was perfectly neat and in order.

She was heading for the stairs when Tara stepped in front of her and cut her off, holding her by the shoulders to stall her. "Calm down, sweetie. It's all going to be ok, you'll see. There's nothing you can do now to make things go more smoothly." She kissed her forehead gently and then pressed her own forehead against it. "Breathe."

Willow sighed deeply. "I don't know if I can handle seeing her face again. It's been too long. I've mourned her; I've gotten on with my life somehow."

"But if it's her-"

"But if it's _not_ her, it'll only dredge up all those old achey feelings without any reward," Willow argued, shaking her head.

They turned expectantly as the front door opened. Xander entered with Anya who was holding their one-year-old son, Matthew, in her arms.

"Are they here yet?" Xander asked, walking forward to give first Willow, then Tara, hugs for mutual support before returning to wrap an arm around Anya's shoulders.

Cordelia breezed into the room at that moment and flopped down on the couch. "Nope, but Wesley just called from his cell and said they wouldn't be much longer."

"How are we supposed to react when they arrive?" Anya asked. "This whole thing is very strange. What are we supposed to say to a live Buffy-look-alike and Angel as a human? None of this makes any sense."

"We'll just," Xander tried to come up with a suggestion. "You know, we'll wing it." He then added, "Hey, has anyone called Dawn to tell her about this?"

Willow shook her head, "We discussed it and figured it was better to wait until we know all the facts. Plus, she apparently has a huge assignment due tomorrow so it's best she's not worrying about anything else. She'll probably come home for the weekend though, so hopefully we'll have things sorted out by then."

The main door opened again and the entire group that had been in New York walked in and gave somewhat awkward "hello"s and waves, the newcomers nervous at meeting new people and those that were returning nervous about presenting them. While the rest of the group seemed frozen, gawking at the new, but familiar, face and cautiously appraising Drusilla, Cordelia got up with a smile. "You came in from outside in the sun. You really are human. I'm so happy for you," she directed at Angel before walking over to give him a quick hug.

"Thank you," he gave her a small smile back, some of his tension eased. He cleared his throat. "Uh, everyone, this is Lisa, Janey and Emily. You, um, already know Dru." He then listed off the rest of their names for Lisa and Janey's benefit.

Most of their gazes were locked on Janey, whom they had not actually believed would look so remarkably like their old friend. She looked a little older, a little thinner, but was still undeniably Buffy. Xander exhaled sharply. "Right. Hi."

Willow seemed to gather herself and began, "Okay, well, it's going to be me and Tara who do the spell to get your memory back. We've got all the supplies we'll need so I guess you can just settle in and then we'll get started. Um, we've set up a few rooms for you…"

Willow's rambling was interrupted by the sound of loud footsteps from the staircase. They all looked up to see Spike strolling down the steps. He scanned the recently arrived crowd with just as much apprehension as the others had just shown, though he was clearly trying to come off as cool and unconcerned. Then his eyes fell on Drusilla and the neutral mask melted away.

He approached her quickly, reaching out to touch her in some way, "Dru, love…"

She darted back away from him and shrieked, then clung to Angel's back as if to use his body as a shield. "Never be forgiven if they see me with you! Life of sin! Dirty evil murderer!"

Spike looked at her shaking form and gave a resigned nod before stepping back and quietly sitting on the couch.

Cordelia cleared the air again by trying to move things along, thinking that there wasn't any particularly good way to ease Drusilla's distress so it was best to just ignore her. "Alright, like Willow said, we've got some rooms set up. Giles said he'd come by soon and then he's probably going to want to talk to you," she said, nodding to Wesley, "about what he's found in his research. But anyway, for now we should all just settle down and breathe. Angel, rooms 128-130. Show them the way?"

He nodded and they all lifted their bags to walk further into the hotel.

Just as they were reaching the stairs, the front door opened yet again and Giles entered. They stopped and further introductions were made.

Giles' gaze also hesitated on Janey. This time she noticed the odd look she was receiving and looked first to Lisa questioningly and then Angel for some explanation. Lisa looked as confused as she was and Angel looked away. It had already been hinted at that Darla, Angel and Faith had some idea of who she was before her accident, but she hadn't asked them to explain further since they'd been changed back because her attention had been more drawn by other matters, like Mark. She wasn't sure if her connection to them extended to all the others present here. She then shrugged it off, figuring if there was something to know, she'd find out soon enough, either by making them tell her or remembering once they did the spell. Of course, the strange looks could have just been because of the unusual situation, and she was getting more attention than Lisa for being Emily's mother; they all knew what Emily had done.

Now that the man with the information had arrived, settling back in was temporarily put on hold. Wesley immediately questioned, "So what have you found out?"

Giles began a long explanation, "Well, there are several prophecies that might pertain to this situation. I'd even, uh, even read some of them before, but had nothing with which to connect them. It was only hearing about what had happened that made them somewhat more revealing. I've also, uh, I've been studying the Shanshu prophecy more closely, and I think we all had rather inaccurate expectations of it. I believe we all assumed that there would be some enormous battle and after the ashes fell, there would be some obvious, um, magical shift that would make Angel human. But my latest theory about the prophecy is that we shouldn't have necessarily focused only on what it says, but also what it – what it doesn't say. It says that Shanshu was to happen after apocalyptic battles and foes, but not necessarily immediately afterwards. It could be that the turning point was the final battle in Sunnydale, but that the prophecy simply wasn't completed until now. It also says that the vampire with a soul was destined to Shanshu, but not that he would be the only one."

Wesley nodded, "Yes, I suppose that fits."

Giles contined, "There were other prophecies that might be a little more useful as far as explaining what we don't yet know. But it would be helpful to know, ah," he looked to Janey, "Can you tell us the dates of when you were first found with your memory erased, and when Emily was born? Often prophecies are directly predicted for specific dates, and it's hard to verify them without confirmation that something occurred on that date."

"Oh, I was found on May 19, 2003, and Emily was born exactly nine months later, February 19," she answered.

"February 19, 2004," Giles repeated, nodding. "Yes, that will be most helpful, thank you."

Willow furrowed her brow, "Hey, wasn't that…?"

"The day the Council had their first panic attack and fell apart because all the potential for future slayers went away," Faith concluded. "Yep."

"Council?" Janey asked. "Potential for slayers? Clue me in?"

Wesley explained, "A slayer is the one girl called in every generation with special powers to fight demons. Faith is a slayer. The Council of Watchers is the organization that records, controls and guides the slayer's destiny. Although there is traditionally only one slayer, there are also a number of girls who have the potential to become the slayer once the current slayer dies. The Council tracks down these girls and trains them to be ready for their calling if it comes. On February 19, 2004, we received a phone call from Quentin Travers, the head of the Council, who was quite panicked because their seekers were all of a sudden unable to locate more potential slayers. Not only that, but those they'd already found had seemingly lost their potential."

"So he wanted to know if we knew anything, and to make sure these guys would do their damnedest to keep me alive for as long as it took him and his top-notch Watcher team to fix their little problem," Faith smirked. "Proved harder than they thought; the Council pretty much officially shut down about a year ago."

"And you think that my daughter being born on the same date is not a coincidence," Janey concluded.

"Sounds like the Powers That Be decided on a different type of warrior to combat evil," Angel remarked. "With the ability not just to kill vampires, but to restore them to their human state. Someone immortal, and containing who knows what other abilities exceeding those of the slayer. The day she was born was the day there became no further need for slayers."

"I think the connection goes rather well with some of the other prophecies I've read. Wesley, accompany me into the office so we can read them over and consult?" Giles requested.

"Certainly," Wesley answered. "While we're occupied with the texts, the rest of you could take the time to actually move in to your new rooms, and Willow and Tara, you could take any further means you need to prepare for the memory spell."

Everyone agreed and split up to help out in either moving, reading or spell preparations.


	12. Part 12

Part 12

Giles, Wesley and Fred spread out around the office, prepared to scour through numerous texts for further information.

Giles started, "I think now knowing that connection to the day the slayer potential was lost does indeed make much of the information I had quite a bit clearer. There were several obscure references to the slayer and how one day the calling would become obsolete, but much of what they explained was lost in translation. I have more recently found references that mentioned some other greater power that would come to be, but they were mostly indecipherable. Certain texts seem to refer to this greater being as 'Lochi' and in another demon language as 'Folmao', but none go into particularly great detail about what it is or what it does."

"And which texts were those?" Wesley asked curiously.

Giles pointed out several on the desk, and Wesley and Fred divided the pile evenly between the two of them.

"I think you'll find in that one," Giles added, motioning to one of the books Fred had retrieved, "that there's another reference to the Lochi in connection with a female warrior who was to have risen from a great fall three times within the first decade of her call to destiny. That seems like a promising lead."

Wesley leaned over Fred's shoulder to inspect the passage Giles was referring to. "I think I read that a couple of years ago. I'd actually already assumed they meant a slayer's call to destiny, but didn't look into it further because of lack of surrounding information. I hadn't read any other sources about the Lochi. However, I assumed that given that it seems to indicate the occurrence would take place in our lifetime, then it would be referring to Faith. I figured her turning to the dark side was her first fall, and if that were so, then two more would occur within the next few years. With Buffy back, however, it does make more sense for it to refer to her three deaths, with dying by Darla's hands just slipping under the mark of ten years after her first calling."

Fred huffed, "Now wouldn't it be nice if those ancient folk could have just written all these prophecies in clear plain English so we'd be able to figure out what they meant _before_ they actually happened?"

Giles chuckled, "I don't think the ancient folk cared to be so considerate to future generations."

"I suppose unless we find anything enormously telling from these books, which I imagine you've already looked through thoroughly, our only hope for a further explanation is that the memory restoration spell will be successful and then Jane herself will be able to tell us exactly how she and Emily came to be," Wesley concluded.

They nodded, yet continued what would likely be a fruitless search through the books one more time.

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After unpacking what few possessions she had, Janey turned to the door to her new room and found Lisa there.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, startled. "I didn't hear you come in."

Lisa nodded quietly and gave a weak smile. She walked over to the bed and sat, patting the spot next to her in indication that Janey should sit too. She did.

"We haven't had a chance to really talk since any of this happened. We always talked about everything, and now the biggest thing we could ever need to talk about has happened and we haven't spoken a word," Lisa remarked. "How are you feeling?"

Janey let out a quick, mirthless laugh. "Crappy, actually. You?"

"About the same, yeah," Lisa responded with a tight smile. They both gave a light, real laugh but sobered up quickly and looked into each other's eyes, both sets suddenly rather misty.

"Lisa, I killed Mark," Janey stated tearfully. "I killed my best friend."

"I know," Lisa nodded, her own tears starting to fall and her arm reaching out to wrap around Janey's shoulder.

Janey broke down in real sobs now and rested her head on her friend's shoulder. "All he ever did was love me and I killed him. Twice," she choked out. "How come we get to be here and have a chance to go on when it's all my fault he's gone?"

Lisa was as perplexed by that question as Janey was, and so silently continued to hold her friend as she wept.

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Angel nodded to Spike as he sat down next to him in the kitchen.

"So how does it feel, mate?" Spike enquired. "Breathing again and all."

"Feels pretty good," Angel nodded. "I think you should-"

Spike interrupted him, knowing what he was going to suggest. "I'm not going near that unnatural little girl, ever. I won't give up immortality and this power."

"No?" Angel asked. "Spike, you're not the man you used to be. I don't know why, but I know you care about these people. It really doesn't bother you at all that you're going to see us all grow old and die while you keep on as you are? And what about Dru?"

"Dru will never be able to see me again, no matter how hard she looks. I have no hope of a happy normal life with her. 'Sides, I think you're mistaken in thinking I care about the rest of you lot. I'm not a fluffy little ponce like you were. I don't have a soul. I do what I do because it's better than sitting around. Always enjoy a good fight. But I'm still a mean old bastard at heart, and I won't be shedding any tears when any of you folk go to your graves."

"Fair enough," Angel nodded. There was an elapsed pause and then he added, "Dawn's sure growing up fast, isn't she?"

He got up and walked out, leaving Spike alone with his fears.

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Janey and Lisa walked down the main stairs to the lobby. They'd been alerted by Faith that everything was ready to perform the spell. They had left Emily upstairs sleeping.

Janey nodded a silent hello to Angel as she reached the bottom of the stairs. He gave her a reassuring smile and placed a hand lightly on her back to lead her over to where the two witches had everything set up. Lisa walked over to sit with Xander, Anya, Wesley and Faith in their position of observing from across the room.

Willow gave Janey a tense smile as she reached them. "Are you ready for this?"

"Have you done this before?" Janey responded, sounding skeptical but not nervous.

Willow and Tara exchanged a glance. "Not this exact spell, no," Tara answered. "But we know what we're doing. We've had bigger challenges."

Janey nodded. "Guess I've got to trust you then. I mean, being able to remember my life is about all I've ever wanted since... well, as long as I can remember. Almost makes me wish I'd believed in witchcraft three years ago."

"Well, it won't be long until all your questions are answered, hopefully," Willow responded. "So let's get started. Sit cross-legged in the circle there, and hold this charm."

Janey did as she was told, and the two witches started chanting and sprinkling potions rhythmically around the circle. Within a few minutes, the circle had gradually begun to glow yellow, the brightness increasing steadily. As they shouted the final words of their chant, the light suddenly shot inward, illuminating Janey.

They saw an instant reaction in her; she screamed in pain and her entire body began to tremble. Her distress seemed to intensify, and she dropped the charm and fell on to her side, shaking.

Angel glanced worriedly to Willow and Tara, "Is this supposed to happen? Is she supposed to be in pain like this?"

Willow looked back at him wide-eyed, and just as she opened her mouth to respond, the light faded away and Janey's body stilled.

They froze for a moment, unsure if they should approach her, and then all of a sudden her body started shaking again. Angel stepped forward and lifted her gently, holding her up and supporting her with his body, brushing her hair back with his hands to inspect her face. He then realized that she was now shaking from powerful but silent sobs.

"Hey," he murmured, holding her closer in comfort. "Hey, shh, are you alright?"

"Oh, my god," she cried, turning to press her face against his shoulder.

The rest of the group in the lobby looked curiously at them, but stayed back so as to give her some room.

They heard her voice muffled against his shirt, "They didn't tell me… I didn't know it would be… It was my choice, though, I didn't…" Her voice faded out again, overwhelmed by her tears.

"Hey, it's okay," Angel continued to soothe. "You need time to process; let's get you up to bed. You should rest."

He lifted her gently into his arms and slowly headed up the stairs and towards her room. Figuring she needed space, only Faith, Willow and Lisa followed.

By the time she was laid down in her bed, she was babbling incoherently between quieting tears.

"She sounds like Dru," Faith whispered.

Angel looked at her angrily, "She's presumably just had a lot of memories rush into her head. Her thoughts are muddled. Give her time."

All of a sudden she turned sharply and looked Willow straight in the eye. Wild-faced, she said, "I just didn't want that to be the end of me! I didn't want to be done!"

Lisa stepped forward, her face etched with worry. "Janey, you-"

"That's not my name!" she shouted abruptly, and then rolled over, her tears continuing to fall.

Angel motioned for them all to leave, and then took a seat in the chair over by the window, near the smaller bed where Emily was laying but had woken in the commotion. They both silently watched her mother as her tears quieted down gradually and she eventually slipped into a troubled sleep.


	13. Part 13

Part 13

Angel jolted awake the next morning, finding himself in an awkward hunched position in the chair. He stretched his neck and looked over to the bed Janey had slept in. It was empty. After ensuring that Emily was still comfortably asleep in her bed, he headed downstairs.

He found her in the kitchen with Fred, the two sipping cups of coffee in a companionable silence. They both looked up when he entered.

"Mornin'!" Fred greeted cheerfully.

"Uh, Janey…" he started. She gave him a pointed look. He nodded. "That's not your name. Right. I take it you're feeling better, though."

"Yes, I am," she smiled slightly.

"Buffy…?"

"Yeah," she responded. She put down her mug. "So can I at least have a hug now that I'm all fully back and everything?"

He nodded, stepping forward wordlessly into her arms. He thought he was going to smile, but found himself crying instead. She was really back. He'd let himself give up hope so long ago; her return shook him to his very core. The tears were light enough that Fred didn't notice, but he couldn't hide them from Buffy. Her hand ran up and down his back comfortingly.

Fred took that as her cue to exit, and mumbled a quick, "Now that people seem to be waking up, I'll get everyone together in the lobby, and when you're ready you can come in to talk," before rushing out of the room.

"You okay?" Buffy murmured gently, still stroking his back.

He seemed to gather himself and pulled back to look her in the eyes. "You're here," he whispered disbelievingly, brushing a hand through her hair. Although he had been more inclined to believe from the beginning that she was Buffy, not a doppelganger, it hadn't seemed real until this moment. The impossible hadn't yet become possible in his mind. But now, with her standing here looking at him the way she used to, he could no longer doubt that she was really back. "How?"

She pulled back a little, and for the first time since walking into the room he noticed her eyes were not free of the sadness that he had seen in them constantly since they woke up human in her apartment in New York. She answered, "I'd really rather just explain it once, so we should just wait until everyone's ready to hear it." Her expression lightened and she tapped him teasingly on the chest, "Think you can wait that long?"

"I think I'll manage," he answered, hugging her back against him tightly.

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It wasn't that long of a wait. Everyone was eager to hear what had brought Buffy back three years before, and it was only a few minutes before everyone was in the lobby ready to listen. Even Giles, Xander and Anya had stayed the night at the hotel in extra rooms so they wouldn't miss it.

Willow had given Buffy a long tearful hug, being one of the first to reach the lobby, but the others had decided to put off the happy reunions until after they heard the full explanation of the situation, and once she confirmed that her return was a permanent one.

They all sat silently and watched as Buffy fidgeted for a moment, and then gave a quick, nervous laugh. "Guess there's no point in delaying it, huh? Here goes," she took a deep breath, seemingly searching for the words. Emily was sitting next to her, and Buffy started to fiddle with her daughter's hair distractedly as she spoke. "That spell – it was like all the memories hit me at once, overwhelming me. I guess I just needed to sleep on it to sort them all out. I remember it now, all of it. I remember jumping into that portal, I remember feeling intense pain, and I remember closing my eyes and knowing it would be the last time. I also remember… I knew it was what I had to do, and I was ready to make that sacrifice if the only other option was killing Dawn. I wasn't scared. But I'm pretty sure my last thought was something along the lines of how unfair it was that I'd fought so hard for so long to save this world and I was being cut out of it so early."

Willow exchanged a glance with Xander, and Giles across the room. They'd thought the same thing when they'd lost her.

Buffy continued, "The next time I found myself aware, it felt like immediately after that but I don't think time flows the same there. Anyway, it was weird; I was kind of… without form. And not in any particular location either. I was surrounded by just… sort of an emptiness. And a fullness, actually. It's hard to describe; I felt like I was nowhere and yet if I tried hard enough I would be able to reach out and touch everything and everyone all at once."

"Do you think that was heaven?" Willow asked curiously.

Buffy seemed to consider for a moment. "Maybe… but I don't think so. I think it was more of a transitional place. The voices were the only other thing I was aware of after I got a vague feel for the place. They didn't really identify themselves but somehow I knew that they were… you know. The ultimate. God, the Powers That Be, whatever you'd call it. They started talking to me."

Several of the people in the room inhaled sharply at that. They'd had contact with liaisons of the Powers That Be, but Buffy was sitting here saying she'd had a direct conference. They listened intently as she went on to describe the encounter.

"They were kind of long-winded about it, but their main point was that they'd heard that last thought of mine, and they thought it was interesting that every single slayer seemed to have the same last thought and that it's kind of an odd reaction seeing as we're trained to expect to fight until we die. So they asked me if I thought they were maybe going about it wrong. I told them that being that they were, you know, _them_, it was really their call but that, in my opinion, it was kind of a big burden for just one ordinary girl."

Giles nearly laughed out loud. It seemed only fitting that his strong-willed young slayer would slip into the afterlife only to right away start advising the Powers That Be on how to do their job.

The little boy on Anya's lap suddenly let out a loud cry, interrupting Buffy, and Xander quickly gave him a bottle, immediately calming him down. Xander and Anya both gave apologetic smiles to everyone else present. When the room became quiet again, everyone looked back to Buffy to continue her story.

She nodded, and went on to tell them how the Powers That Be had revealed to her that they had been thinking for awhile that it was time to change the system, that in the modern world it was unfair to expect a normal mortal girl to give up her whole life to fight evil. They'd seen the slayers' struggles between living as an everyday girl in the world and being the slayer growing more and more with each generation. Buffy added, "They told me about their plans for a new type of warrior: someone who wasn't born normal only to have that taken away; someone who was, in a basic sense, built for the job."

"I think they should have thought of that a long time ago," Tara inserted softly.

Buffy nodded. "It probably would have saved a lot of people a lot of pain. Anyway, for some reason they said it would be out of the realm of their abilities to just zap up such a being, but that they were able to magically recreate someone who'd already existed. They said they would appreciate it if I would be willing, as someone who had lived as a mortal, to go back to earth and help their new immortal warrior be brought back into the world naturally. After they explained a little bit more about what Emily would be, obviously I offered."

She took a moderately long pause, appearing to be collecting her thoughts and trying to recollect any other details. "Yeah, I mean, I guess that's everything. We made a deal; I'd get to live again if I brought their new warrior into the world. They planned to make an exact duplicate of my body as it was when I died and restore my soul to that new body. That's about the time things start getting fuzzy, but I know that they didn't tell me that I wouldn't remember or that I'd be so far from home. They've always got to make things difficult."

Everyone took a moment to digest what they'd just learned.

Cordelia shook her head, "Nope, I still don't get it. They were able to make a new you… somehow… I can buy that. And for some reason they had to make you forget and put you on the other side of the country. But then how'd you get pregnant if they couldn't create Emily themselves?"

Wesley offered his explanation, "Well, as she says, that's about when things started to get hazy. But I think a reasonably, uh, vague, explanation would be that in recreating her body, they added some sort of seed of a warrior child, something that was easier to create than the entire being, that wouldn't emerge unless combined with the nurturing environment of a womb. Now that we know this much, we can better understand what we're looking for in the books. You said they explained to you further about what Emily would be, her purpose? Do you remember what they said?"

"Yeah, a little," she responded, nodding and switching her full attention to Emily as she spoke. "Just that she's pretty much fully immortal – invincible even. If an attacker managed to get a knife deep enough in her to cut her heart out, she'd grow a new one instantaneously. And obviously, she has greater power than a slayer, with the ability to save the life of the human taken over by the vampire, and probably tons of other abilities that she'll discover as she gets older. Although, I don't think 'discover' is the right word, because I'm pretty sure she already knows. I mean, she already knew how to change vampires, how to speak Latin and everything. And she knows about other stuff too, things that happened before she even existed."

"What do you mean by that?" Giles asked curiously.

"Well, it's funny," Buffy answered. "Obviously, I didn't know what it meant at the time, but a few months ago, she was drawing a picture with crayons. It had a tall, black pole," she described, indicating the shape with hand motions, "and at the top was a girl with yellow hair, and there was a multi-colored swirl next to the pole." She turned to Emily as she went on, "And it was really beautiful, but I asked you what it was, just to be sure. And what did you say, sweetie?"

Emily answered without hesitation, "I told you that the lady in the picture was you and you were saving the world."

Buffy nodded, looking back to the others. She suddenly looked as if she was struck with a significant thought. "Oh! That's another thing; I just remembered…"

"What?" Angel asked.

"Oh, before I came back, when they were explaining it all to me, they said that she would replace the need for slayers, so that from now on no further slayers would be called. I guess that accounts for the future slayer potential disappearing on the day she was born. But anyway, they also said that since there would be no more slayers and she still has a number of years before she reaches, you know, _ideal_ fighting age – at which point she'll stop aging – that the current slayer is destined to live at least until she reaches that age."

"A fifteen-year or thereabouts lifetime guarantee straight from the mouths of the Powers That Be?" Faith grinned. "That's a load off a girl's mind. I'm gonna stop being so careful from now on!"

"As if you've ever been careful," Gunn smiled affectionately.

"So that's it then? That's everything?" Anya asked.

Buffy answered, "Everything I can remember, I think." She looked to Wesley and Giles while adding, "If I think of anything else, I'll let you know."

"Well, if that's all of it, I suppose I should get back to checking the books to reaffirm what you've said and fill in the blanks," Wesley said, getting up from his seat.

"And I'll call Dawn," Tara added. "I don't think I can – I don't think I'll tell her; I'll just say that she needs to get home. This isn't the kind of thing you can explain over the phone."

Lisa leaned forward to address Buffy, "And you need to catch me up on everything else. Hardly any of this conversation has made sense to me."

"Oh, sure," Buffy said. Now that she remembered her old life, it was almost as if her life as Jane Heart had been a dream. Lisa's presence here suddenly seemed strange to her, combining her slayer life with her brief taste of a "normal" life, but Lisa had always been a good friend and she hoped they could stay a part of each others' lives, preferably without putting Lisa in any more danger. She'd already been killed once.

Tara and Giles went to the phone to contact Dawn, Wesley and Fred went back to the office, and Buffy began explaining everything to Lisa. Several other members of the room, such as Angel, Willow and Xander, were a little disappointed to not have a more intimate reunion with Buffy now that she was back for real, but figured that there was no longer such a severe limit on the time they'd have to spend with her. Things were still somewhat too hectic now.


	14. Part 14

Part 14

When evening was falling, Buffy was feeling entirely overwhelmed by reassimilating into her old life and dealing with the conflicting memories of her life as Buffy Summers, the slayer, and Jane Heart, the average struggling working mother. She needed a break to clear her head, so she sought out some solitude in the courtyard.

If anything, her memory returning made her guilt for the week she had spent as a vampire increase enormously. Before she had felt like a guilt-stricken victim, now she had the knowledge that she had become the very creature she had worked at destroying for so many years. She had become the kind of killer she'd always despised, she'd become another Darla-clone, and she'd liked it. It was a little harder to deal with from a slayer's perspective. When she'd just been "normal" the shock of realizing that there was this whole other supernatural element to the world almost overshadowed the guilt.

She heard movement from the entrance to the courtyard and looked up to see Giles approaching.

"Hey!" she said, with a slightly surprised but pleased smile.

"Ah, Buffy," he greeted. "I wasn't expecting to see you out here. I was just coming out for some air. Dawn should be here in an hour or so, by the way."

"Good, good. So she's studying at Berkeley, huh? That's so great," Buffy said. "Hey, come sit, we haven't had a chance to chat yet."

He walked over and took a seat next to her on the bench. He gave a sharp exhale with a smile, but they continued to sit in an uncomfortable silence for a moment.

She suddenly turned to him, "How about a hug?"

He smiled again and they awkwardly wrapped their arms around each other and patted each other on the back, then pulled back and resumed the uncomfortable silence.

She again looked to him, "Why is this so strange for us?"

He sighed, removing his glasses to wipe with a hanky. "I honestly couldn't say. I don't think – I never expected to see you again. This will take some getting used to, I suppose."

"It was hard," she said quietly.

"What was?"

"Going through life these last three years alone. Lacking guidance. I think even though I couldn't remember you, I… I missed you," Buffy explained.

"I wish I could have been there for you," he responded, honestly and earnestly.

"It was hard enough just making the decision to come back," she continued. "I mean, it's what they wanted, but they gave me the choice. I could have just gone on to heaven. I could have used your wisdom in helping me make that choice, too. Even now, I'm not sure I made the right decision."

He tried to assess her facial expression worriedly. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, you know, I haven't exactly been a benefit to the fight for good since I got back. I did nothing useful for over three years, and then I did evil. Not exactly the kind of things that make rising from the dead a worthwhile cause," She ran a hand through her hair thoughtfully, before continuing, "Plus, there's Emily. She was made to replace slayers, and all I was thinking was, 'no girl will ever have her normal life taken away the way I did, have the burden of keeping the world safe on her shoulders until the day she dies'. But Emily…" she sighed. "She's going to have that burden until the end of time. No ifs, ands or buts. No outs. I love her so much and I can't stand that I placed that burden on her. I should have thought it through more; I wish I'd known what she would become, what she'd mean to me."

"You couldn't have known, and you can't blame yourself for making that decision or for what evils you may have committed as a vampire. I'm sure Emily will be more than ready to take on her responsibility when it comes. And you know better than anyone in your experiences with Angel that you cannot blame the crimes of the demon on the innocent soul," Giles argued.

She shook her head. "It feels different when you're the one who's done it."

"I'm sure it does, but the pain will fade," he reasoned. "Don't you see that you've already been forgiven? Your life has been given back to you; you have the chance to walk in the sunlight again. As much as sometimes it seems the villains have a lead on us, the higher powers don't usually give them such gifts. The only one who has yet to forgive you is yourself."

He patted her on the back comfortingly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I should really get home and prepare Dawn's room for her."

He got up and walked back into the hotel, leaving her alone with her thoughts once again.

"Wherever Mark is, I'm sure he hasn't forgiven me," she said quietly to herself.

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Not much later after putting Emily down to sleep, Buffy entered the kitchen, hoping to find something to drink.

"Oh, hey!" Willow greeted her as she walked in. "I'm making soup, would you like some?"

Buffy looked warily into the deep red tomato soup. She shook her head, "No, thanks. I'm not really hungry."

Willow nodded, "Oh, Giles just called. Dawn got home a little bit ago and he's going to explain everything to her. So I'd expect her to show up here in about half an hour or so."

"Great!" Buffy responded, with somewhat forced enthusiasm. Although she was looking forward to seeing her sister again, she just couldn't bring herself to be too excited about anything. "Can't wait. So… how've you been, Will?"

"Well, you know, can't complain. Continuing without you was… well, hard. But we managed. And you're back now, so, yay! But I mean, of course, life has gone on. I'm, um… my experience with magic has grown a lot. There are very few problems I can't fix by looking up a spell, so you know, I feel pretty useful here on this team."

Buffy smiled a bit, "And I heard about the whole closing the Hellmouth and pretty much obliterating Sunnydale thing. That's quite impressive."

"Well, you know, obliterating Sunnydale was kind of a sad side effect. It took some getting used to. But eventually we realized that the things we loved most about Sunnydale were the people. And we all got out okay. I didn't get to finish college, though, and sometimes I miss certain locations. Every once in a while, I wish we could all just go back and hang out at the Bronze."

"The Bronze. Wow. That seems like a lifetime ago."

Willow added, "But, you know, there are clubs here too. And we've made new memories. I think things have been better for us since we've been here."

Buffy nodded, "Yeah, you all seem like you've been doing well. You seem happy. You and Tara."

Willow smiled at the mention of her girlfriend. "Yeah, we're very happy. That's one relationship that's just gotten stronger and stronger with time. I can't imagine life without her. We did a handfasting a couple of years ago, a sort of Wiccan wedding ceremony; we've even talked about adopting in a couple of years or so."

"Wow," Buffy said. "That's great. I'm so happy for you, that you've done so well for yourself."

"Yeah," Willow responded. "And you…"

"I haven't been quite as successful," Buffy shrugged, almost sheepish. "Did nothing at all for three years but attempt to pay the rent and be a good mom, and then became a vampire. Not the kind of stuff to brag about."

"But you couldn't help it! You didn't know. And being a good mom isn't exactly something to sniff at. I've seen Anya with Matthew; it's hard work."

Willow quieted when Faith walked into the kitchen.

"Hey," Faith greeted them both. She walked over to the stove. "Hmm, soup. I think I need something more filling. I just did a little patrolling; I'm starved." She perused the fridge and emerged with a few slices of leftover pizza. "So how you doing with adjusting back into our world, B?"

"It's, uh… well, you know, it'll take time. I've got a lot on my mind and a lot to get used to. A lot's changed."

Faith mumbled through a mouthful of pizza, "Yeah, but you can hack it."

"Maybe, but…" Buffy sighed. "I don't know, I have to deal with all the stuff that went on in New York too, and what all this new information means for Emily. Now I'm just thinking I might have cursed her to the worst existence imaginable… forever. I just feel like me coming has done more harm than good. I haven't really done anything to deserve to be back here. I almost think… I would have been better off staying dead."

Willow frowned sadly at hearing that, but Faith's response was anger, instinctive and almost out of control. She blindly dropped her pizza on the table and shot her hand out and slapped Buffy across the face. Hard.

"Don't you _ever_ say anything like that again!" she hissed furiously.

She then seemed to reclaim control over her temper, and realized what she'd done.

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Tara looked up to see Dawn storming into the hotel.

"Dawnie! Hey, welcome home," Tara tried to greet brightly. "You- hey, stop for a minute." She frowned when Dawn seemed to be determined to continue marching furiously through the hotel.

Dawn stopped. "Where is she?" she demanded.

Tara approached her, now noticing that in addition to the rage written across her face, her eyes were bloodshot and there were streaks of dried tears down her cheeks. "You mean Buffy."

"Of course I mean Buffy!" Dawn yelled. "Where is she?"

"Um, I'm not entirely sure at the moment. I'm sure she's nearby, catching up with someone."

"Why didn't you tell me when this first came up?" Dawn pouted. "Why didn't I know about this before the memory spell and everything?"

"Well, you know, we – we didn't know details exactly, why she was here and if she was definitely Buffy. She could have been a fake - an evil fake. We didn't want to upset you. Especially at first, when we were hearing about Angelus and her as a vampire, we didn't think-"

"_What_?" Dawn screeched.

"Angelus and… oh. Oh. Giles didn't – didn't tell you that part, did he?"

"No. He didn't," Dawn seethed. "Please. Enlighten me."

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Willow crouched in front of Buffy, who was still sitting in a kitchen chair. She adjusted the ice pack in her hands, and looked up to Buffy's face. She brushed a long lock of dark blonde hair behind Buffy's ear, and then pressed the ice pack to her cheek.

Faith suddenly murmured in a quiet way that was uncharacteristic of her, "I'm sorry."

Buffy immediately responded, "No, you were right. I shouldn't have said that. I'm the one that's sorry. I shouldn't be ungrateful for this extra chance I've been given to be here again, especially since I've done nothing to earn it." Even trying to come off as understanding and forgiving, she sounded emotionally empty.

Willow traded a concerned glance with Faith. After a moment's hesitation, she pointed out, "Nothing except, you know, dying to save the world. That was kind of a big deal, at least to us. You know, Buffy, you might have gotten used to being alive these last three years, but to us this is all pretty new, this 'you breathing again' thing. We're not ready for you to start being cynical about it."

"I'm sorry," Buffy repeated.

There was a moment's silence. Willow adjusted the ice on Buffy's cheek; her hand was getting cold.

Willow tried another approach to get her long lost friend to see the good in her return. "You can't blame yourself for what happened. I'm sorry you've been living lost and alone for the last three years. I'm especially sorry Darla found you before we did. The nerve of that bitch-"

Buffy interrupted harshly, "Don't talk about her like that. She's dead now. She was human once too, you know. If I'm not to blame for my actions, she's not to blame for hers either. She was just a regular girl when the master took from her the exact same thing he took from me when I was sixteen. And if he'd done the same thing to me that he'd done to her, things would have turned out very differently for all of us. It's not her fault. And she's suffered for it enough, I think."

Willow nodded. "You're right. I hadn't thought about it that way."

Faith touched Buffy's shoulder, "I really am sorry."

"I know. Thanks… for at least trying to knock some sense into me."

The kitchen door opened and Dawn walked in. Her gaze met Buffy's and she let out a sudden, gasping sob, bringing her hand to cover her mouth. Buffy felt a lump forming in her own throat.

Willow got up, placing the ice pack on the table. She motioned for Faith to follow her to the door, quickly whispering, "We'll just leave you two alone to talk."

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Angel was quietly sitting in his room taking part in one of his favorite activities, brooding. He was human now, and figured he ought to find more useful ways to spend his time, but old habits died hard.

He had been sketching a picture of Buffy and he now looked at it and noticed it captured her state of being between waking up as a human again and getting her memory back. In almost all other drawings he'd ever done of her, her inner strength was obviously present in her eyes, but he now noticed that this sketch lacked that. He couldn't find strength in her eyes, only a sadness and confusion. Now that he noticed that, he suddenly realized he didn't like the drawing at all. He almost tore it before accepting that it was true to reality, and that he preferred to have a captured image of her in as many states as he had ever seen her, her highs and her lows, even those moments when her strength was replaced by fear or uncertainty. He went through his drawer and found a picture he'd drawn of her on her eighteenth birthday, when she'd been afraid of not having her slayer strength anymore. He laid the two drawings side by side and realized that the facial expressions were almost identical.

He was worried that even now that she had her memory back she would never get back her old spirit after having experienced firsthand what it was like to kill.

For years he had dreamed what it would be like to be human and to have her back in his life. His dream had finally come true, but he feared she was in too much pain and feeling too much guilt to let herself be happy again. Life had a way of making things more complicated than they should have been.

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Dawn looked at her hands. "So, I've been living with Giles since you've been, you know, gone. He's, uh, he's my legal guardian. Well, I guess, _was_ my legal guardian, but I'm over eighteen now, so he's not technically anymore, but I still live with him. I mean, when I'm not at school," she babbled.

"Yeah, I heard that. Good, that's good," Buffy said quietly, looking at the floor. "I mean, that's what I wanted."

"Yeah, they said… they said you requested it in your will. I didn't know you even had a will till then. I mean, you were only twenty; I didn't think you'd thought about that sort of thing."

Buffy glanced at her sister and then back at the floor, "Of course I did. I mean, after mom died… that kind of had to be my responsibility. And, being the slayer… it was kind of a guarantee that I wouldn't live much longer. I couldn't just leave your whole life to be sorted out by the state, have them ship you off to Dad. I mean, he didn't even know you anymore…"

"Yeah, that wouldn't have been-" Dawn stopped herself, took a breath. "Dad's dead. He was dead then, too. We've assumed he was dead before Mom even died."

Buffy's eyes widened, "Wh-what?"

"Yeah, um… we found out not too long after we made the switch to LA. We ran into him one night. He was… he was a vampire. Faith had to stake him. He'd probably been that way for quite awhile, but the demon kept living his life like he was still Hank Summers. Except, you know… not a dad. That's why we never found out about it. That's why he didn't call back when Mom died."

"God, I had no idea… oh my god," Buffy's hand came to her mouth, and tears welled up in her eyes – tears she never thought she'd have for that man again.

"I just thought… that it was better to know," Dawn added. "That he didn't – he didn't stop calling because he didn't love us anymore, but because he wasn't, uh, there anymore."

Buffy's eyes met her sister's, both sets filled with tears at the thought of their only supposedly living parent having met such a fate. They gave each other a long, tight hug, until their tears stopped falling.

They pulled back, wiping their eyes. Dawn smiled slightly, "I'm really glad you're back, Buffy."

Buffy nodded slowly, as if coming to a realization. "Yeah. So am I."

"So when can I meet my niece?" Dawn asked.

"Now, if you'd like. Come upstairs with me?"

"Sure," Dawn answered somewhat excitedly. They both got up and walked to the door together. Dawn continued talking, trying to keep the mood lighter than it was a minute ago. "Okay, so want to hear some news if you promise not to tell Giles?" Buffy nodded. "Well, I've been seeing this guy…"

Buffy grinned. "Ooh! Do tell."

As they started the walk up the stairs, Dawn began, "Well, he's tall, green eyes…"

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Dawn left after just a few minutes. Emily was sleeping and Dawn had insisted it wasn't necessary to wake her, plus she wanted to go through the hotel and say hi to everyone quickly before she had to get back home and apologize to Giles for a "maybe a little over the top temper tantrum".

After Dawn was gone, Buffy continued to sit by Emily's bed, stroking her hair gently. Though the touch was light, Emily woke up.

"Hi, mommy," she whispered, smiling.

Buffy leaned over and pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead. "Hey, sweetie," she murmured. "Sorry I woke you."

"You can remember stuff now?" the little girl asked, pushing herself up into a sitting position.

Buffy nodded. "Yep, everything. It was all a little muddled at first, but it makes sense now." She frowned slightly. "You've been keeping secrets from me."

"I'm sorry," Emily said as Buffy scooted over on the bed to wrap her arms around her tiny body and rest her chin on the top of Emily's head. "It wasn't time for you to know yet."

"You're sneaky," Buffy commented, but she said it with a grin.

"Little bit." Emily tilted her head up to smile at her mom.

"You should go back to sleep now, babe. It's late," Buffy said, adjusting her position to lower Emily back to the bed, and tucking her in tightly with the sheets. She gave her another gentle kiss on the cheek and whispered, "Goodnight."

Buffy went to turn off the main light, and when she went to turn on a smaller lamp so she could still move around, she heard Emily ask, "Are you going to be happier now?"

She paused for a moment, surprised by the question, but then answered softly, "I'll try."

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Xander knocked on the open door of Buffy's room a little later in the night.

"Knock, knock," he called, peering into the room.

"Oh! Xander, hey, come on in," Buffy said, walking over to greet him.

"Well, I went home a little while ago to put my kid in his crib, figuring that you would need lots of time to catch up with everyone so my turn would have to wait until tomorrow, but then I realized I hadn't even gotten a proper hug yet," Xander explained.

Buffy grinned and opened her arms to him. They shared a brief, yet tight and comforting, hug. "Wow," she said. "You went home to put your kid to bed. You're a dad now!"

"And you're a mom," he smiled. "Eight years ago, could you have pictured us like this?"

"God no!" she laughed. "It's so weird. I mean, it's like we're grown-ups or something."

"Me? A grown-up? Never! First thing when Matty gets old enough, I'm gonna be teaching him how to burp the alphabet and the best pranks to pull on teachers – or on his mom."

"I think you seem like a great dad," she smiled. "It's nice to know that some things haven't changed, though."

"Yeah," he smiled back. He wandered over to where Emily was sleeping and watched her for a moment. He looked back to Buffy. "She looks just like you."

"Well, there wasn't exactly anyone else involved to mix up the genes," she said.

He nodded. There was a short, but comfortable, silence before he smiled at her again. "You know, you're still my hero."

Her eyes watered slightly, and she smiled back. "Thanks, Xand."

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Dawn headed down the stairs to the basement to find Spike pounding on a punching bag.

"Hey," she greeted, stopping halfway down. He merely nodded in response. "So, this is some kind of crazy going on around here, huh?"

"You could put it that way, pet," Spike responded, stopping his punching spree to look up at her on the stairs. "But I wouldn't say the word 'crazy' too loudly around Drusilla, if I were you. She's been shacked up in her room for the last twenty-four hours straight, alternating between crying and cursing, occasionally sleeping only to wake up screaming from the nightmares; won't even eat. She resembled a human more when she was a vampire."

"Drusilla," Dawn stated flatly. "Huh. Well, there's another thing that no one bothered to mention to me up till now. Is there anything else I should know? Has Faith turned evil again? Has Willow gone back to liking men? Are you human, too?"

"No," Spike answered, giving a bitter chuckle. "I'm not human, and I think you must've heard the whole story by now."

"Well, I knew I could trust you to give me the complete uncensored truth. Everyone else seems to think I'm still fifteen and need to be protected from the world. So, Drusilla. That must be interesting for you."

Spike turned back to the punching bag and resumed hitting it as he continued, "Interesting indeed. Drusilla as a human is… well, it's not anything I ever expected or hoped to see. Planned on spending a few hours in her room today, but I didn't last much more than five minutes. Her screaming got to bothering my ears."

"Are you going to let Emily change you?"

Spike laughed. "No, I most certainly am not."

"Why not? What are you going to have to do with yourself a hundred years from now when everyone you knew and cared about is gone?"

"I'll get by. I'll always do," he responded, still punching. "'Sides, I think 'cared' is a bit of a strong word when applied to my feelings."

"Bullshit," she said bluntly.

"Charming. You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"No. I was still young and innocent back when she was around," she answered, not feeling the need to hide anything from him. "I know you care, Spike. I know you won't be able to sit back on your ever-youthful ass and watch us all wither away."

"We do what we have to," Spike declared, stopping his punch routine and heading up the stairs. He passed her and stopped on the top step. "I don't have what it takes to be human anymore, love," he added over his shoulder, leaving before allowing her time for a response, not that she had one to give.

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Angel was just deciding it was time to get ready for bed when he heard a knocking on his door.

He opened the door and found Buffy on the other side. "Buffy!"

"Angel." She smiled at him warmly and hopefully in greeting, but he found himself unable to speak for several full seconds. He wasn't expecting to see her again until the next day.

"You're doing a fish mouth thing," she noted, sounding a bit concerned, after a short, awkward silence.

He shut his mouth quickly, and then found his voice. "I'm sorry. I was – I wasn't expecting… Uh, please, come in."

"Thanks," she said, stepping past him into the room as he closed the door behind her. She looked around the room. "Nice place."

"Thank you. It's not, um, much. I was just about to go to bed," he added, though unsure of why he was mentioning that fact.

"Oh!" She turned, with a slightly surprised and embarrassed look on her face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed… I'll go, let you sleep. We can talk tomorrow."

He immediately stepped in her path as she headed to the door. "No, please. Stay. I was actually only going to go to sleep out of boredom. I'd rather talk to you."

"Ok," she smiled.

"So, I haven't really seen you since this afternoon. How've you been?" he asked.

She walked further into the room, instinctively heading to sit on the bed but hesitating when she suddenly worried what kind of message that would send, and opted for the safer chaise instead. "Gradually better, actually. Talking to everyone made it a little easier to sort out everything I've been dealing with. Faith hitting me helped, too."

"Faith hit you?" he growled suddenly.

"Whoa, you can still growl! That's weird; I wonder if I can." She tried for a moment, almost forming a rumbling sound in her throat. "No, I don't think I actually even learned how to do that while I was still a vampire."

"Buffy…"

"Oh, right. Sorry. Yeah, she hit me. But I earned it. You don't need to know why. I think we've resolved our issues. Can you still see the bruise?" she asked, turning the affected cheek more fully to his view.

"No, it's gone," he responded. "Buffy, was there a reason you came in here tonight?"

"Well, yeah. I think we should talk. And I think you know why."

"I do?" he asked, sitting on the bed slightly nervously.

"Yeah. I don't think we should beat around the bush about this. I think if we've learned anything from this entire experience, it's that life is short." She stopped suddenly, and looked as if she was trying to remember something. "It's kind of funny that I had to go through all this just to come to the same realization I had when I was sixteen. But in any case, we shouldn't waste what little time we have. Angel, you broke up with me because you were a vampire. You're not now."

Angel raised his eyebrows. "Ok, so we're really just going to talk about this."

"No bush beating," she repeated. "Too many of my relationships haven't reached their potential because there was too much time spent playing games, and not saying how I really felt." She took a breath. "Angel, I love you. I always have. I think I still loved you even when I couldn't remember your name or your face. I don't think there's anything I can do about that, and I don't think it will ever change."

Angel couldn't find words to respond to such an open declaration. He sat in silence for a moment, breathing heavily.

She leaned forward and gave him a look. "Here's where you say either, 'I love you, too' or 'I'm sorry, but that was a long time ago and you're just going to have to get over it, because I did.' Any time now."

He finally responded, "Of course I still love you. I don't think there could ever be any question of that."

"Okay, great!" She smiled brightly and then moved over to sit next to him on the bed. They embraced tightly for a short moment before pulling back to look each other in the eyes. She suddenly said, "You're right. Just talking about this stuff openly and honestly is really weird."

"Yeah, we're more used to keeping our feelings hidden and making things difficult for ourselves. This is new. So what do we do now?"

"Well, we, uh… we date?" she suggested.

"Date," he repeated. "Okay. Okay, I think I can handle that. Dating means…"

"Dating means we take it slow. Like… coffee. Because, you know, I've still got some issues to work through before I can be a really good girlfriend again." She suddenly stood up and walked across the room, as far from the bed as she could get without making the conversation difficult to continue. "And I don't think we should… uh, jump into bed again any time soon. I mean, I know we, um, technically… have done it… recently. But I'm going to just go ahead and say those times don't count. If we're going to build a relationship, we have to do it slow, and really get to know each other as people again before we take the next step."

"I get that," he said. He paused, and then added, "I could be a dad to Emily."

She grinned. "I think that might not qualify as 'taking it slow', but thank you for offering. We don't have to set those kinds of roles for ourselves just yet. I mean, it'll take time. But I think – I think we can be really happy this time, if we work at it. And I think we've earned it," she said, for the first time really acknowledging out loud that she had the right to be happy, even after maybe making the wrong choice in creating Emily, and even after her body was used by a demon for death and destruction.

"I'm glad you came in here to talk this out before I spent hours agonizing over the situation. It's all much simpler than I would have made myself believe," he smiled. He suddenly found himself wanting to be across the room, holding her, but he didn't know if that went against the idea of 'taking it slow.' "So what should we do now? I mean, right now?"

She gave him a huge, dazzling smile. "Well, right now, I'm going to go back to my room and go to bed, and let you go to bed too because I think you were lying when you said you were only planning on going to bed out of boredom. But first I think a good night kiss is in order."

He grinned back at her, getting up and walking towards her. "I don't have to wait until dropping you off from our first date for that?"

She tilted her head as if actually pondering it, and then took a step so that she was standing right in front of him. "I think we can allow it, just this once."

His grin widened briefly before his face turned serious and he lowered his head closer to her level, hesitating for an instant with barely an inch to spare in the fear that it was all happening too quickly and easily to be real. If it was an illusion, it would be this kiss that would break it completely. She suddenly leaned upward to close the distance, and immediately drove away his last irrational fear. They wrapped their arms tightly around each other as the kiss deepened, and somehow he knew everything would be all right.

The kiss eventually ended, and they pressed their foreheads together, breathing deeply.

"I really do love you," she whispered before pulling back. He walked her to the door, and they murmured a "good night" to each other, with one last quick kiss before he opened the door and she left to return to her own room.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning. For coffee?" he suggested.

Buffy smiled back at him. "You can count on it."

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End.


End file.
